Change doesn’t happen overnight.

“You changed overnight, and I don’t like it.”

I’ve come a long way in recovering from being a people-pleaser and seeking other people’s approval. I’ve also been apart from relatives long enough that that bond is thoroughly broken and unrepairable.

Previously, I spend my days Pinning my dream life away on Pinterest. I used to have this “THAT’S SO GAY” board for when I came out and didn’t have to hide it anymore. It was never public, and now it’s archived because it doesn’t matter anymore.

I’ve had many secret boards, especially for personal development.

I’m currently consolidating many of my Pinterest boards, because a lot has changed and continues to change within my life.

Next year, I’m moving to Peoria, Illinois.

Last year, I had no idea what state I was moving to, and I was feeling extremely anxious about it.

Now, I’m looking forward to participating in my community and living my life more freely. ✨

My attitude about moving across the country is the result of working through so, so many things across the past year, though — not something that “suddenly” happened.

Change isn’t sudden.

My parents divorced when I was young, so I flip-flopped between sides of the family throughout my life until I didn’t.

I wonder if the “overnight change” in the eyes of my relatives was them missing out on that progress.

I have this theory, too, that other people don’t see our progress. They don’t see the progress we’re making as we’re working on something.

Maybe they don’t want to see it or maybe they’re truly ignorant — not simply ignoring our progress because they don’t like it.

That doesn’t mean people don’t change, though.

My family didn’t want to let go of this little girl version of me in their heads, regardless of my age. They would still chastise me, tattle on me to my dad or maternal grandmother when they couldn’t control me, and punish me by withholding love under the guise of “tough love”.

There was no room for me to engage in natural brain development, so it was all bottled up inside.

I’m 33 and feel like a late-bloomer because I’ve had so few life experiences due to my family’s infantilizing me.

Most of my changing and personal development has happened in adulthood, within the last five years.

Living the dream life doesn’t happen instantly.

For me, it starts by learning how to keep cut flowers from the food pantry alive longer.

It’s giving myself a manicure and moisturizing my skin with body butter.

It’s a small change every week that makes my life a teeny bit more lovable.

The small changes add up to look like big changes.

There are other changes I want to implement into my life that I know won’t happen here in Texas and will look like major, sudden changes once they do in the Midwest.

As an autistic person, I grew up nervous about change because my maternal family is so aversive to change — but I find change can be lovely and embrace it every once in a while.

I like things looking the same, but I also like switching it up. It’s like using the same furniture pieces in The Sims 4 for different builds, but different colors of those items and a different floor plan. 🤷‍♀️

“Overnight change”

Overnight change is the result of someone not paying attention to the progress being made.

There are so few things for which sudden change may happen.

• Natural disasters cause sudden change to our environments.
• A car accident may suddenly change our life.
• A teenager may want to test out a new style on a whim.

People CAN change.

The only people who say, “People can’t/don’t change,” are the ones who want someone to change in a certain way.

People can and do change, but it’s seldom in the way we want them to. Letting go of this desire to control other people, or at least mold them into what we want them to be like, is the only way to get over ourselves in this department.

Because people who want to change often do change — in accordance with their own desires.

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I’m changing, and I’m embracing it. Small steps towards the me I want to be in the future may test my patience, but this is the only way. ✨