There is no such thing as an organized move and whomever claims the opposite is either an asshole or a liar.

Also: Moving by yourself is really friggin’ hard, or it’s just because I’m autistic. I feel like people usually have help and don’t have to do it all by themselves, but being autistic…ugh. It was way too much.

Currently reading The Shadows by Alex North.

1. I moved.

My second apartment is sooo much better than my first. It’s also not in Greenville, the small Texas town that looks nothing like it does in the pictures found on Google. Nothing. All those pics of downtown Greenville are now run down, essentially forgotten by the town in favor of building it up, except even in the places more recently developed are pothole-filled roads. The town also floods. I was legit glad to be out of that apartment.

There were some hiccups, like Nectar delivering my queen mattress to my new address one day before I was gonna sign the lease, so I changed my renter’s insurance start date to that day and my new landlord went as far as putting it in the bedroom for me! (As far as extraordinary customer service goes, they’ve got it. The site said it’d ship in 5-12 business days, and the email I received on Thursday said Good news! We were able to ship your order early! 🥵)

2. Speaking of packages, delivery is complicated sometimes.

The road I live on changed about two years ago, but the signs and some postal verification settings on certain forms did not. USPS has it down, but everyone else is still living in archaic times.

I ordered a CenturyLink modem two weeks ago, but last week UPS required address verification because the address was supposedly wrong — except…they have delivered my Amazon packages here without issue. This is currently the only internet available. I couldn’t bring Spectrum with me, and I’m hoping Suddenlink is the one that will be newly available soon because it’s at least better than CenturyLink and lets me choose a faster speed. CenturyLink just does not have it. 😑

3. Autistic burnout

I can’t talk right now; I’m doing autistic burnout shit.

I’ll explain more in detail what autistic burnout is later, but it’s not the same as non-autistic, or allistic, burnout. I thought I could handle pretending to be on the same level as my allistic peers and push through the burnout, but you can’t push through autistic burnout — it only gets worse.

Autistic burnout is a direct result of conforming, or masking, to fit into a society created without autistic people in mind, consistently working against us and expecting us to succeed regardless.

4. The state of my job

2022 is the year that somehow, someway, I will become self-employed. It’s the only way my financial and personal needs will ever be met via working anywhere — same reason many working autistic people (which isn’t a lot, as 80 percent of us are unemployed) start their own business.

My primary supervisor has me on a temporary unpaid leave via store level, which is not even something a person would know to ask for because the company only ever provides vague information about FMLA and Sedgwick — you know, the pretentious “talking points”.

I’ll be looking to transfer to a store nearby, as I’m much too embarrassed/ashamed to return to mine. 😔 I also couldn’t be myself at work, having to refrain from stimming and being the badass person that I am — which, how odd it is, lacking the ability to stim and express myself as an autistic person while being viewed as the respectable badass 👑 I was at my previous store. I miss it, but not enough to do it forever.

I want a career — not a job — and my lack of financial, food and emotional security growing up prevents me from being able to leave all that in the hands of anyone who could take it away in an instant, for any reason, at any time. Except myself. Working for myself is the only way I’ll ever have that security.

5. I got two kittens.

It started with one emotional service animal (ESA) cat, but abandoned stray kittens were found, and the opportunity presented itself — but kittens do best in pairs — so, ultimately, I wound up with two kittens.

They’re a lot of work, and the original ESA is honestly not the ESA. They’re still babies, being only nine weeks old, and Narumi is now Nova, and Nova is actually a male. 💩

Galaxy is most likely to become a lap cat, as she prefers gentle play with quiet toys and to sleep in whatever room I’m in. She likes to loaf 🍞 around.

Nova prefers loud toys, either crinkly or with a bell, wants to explore everywhere with everything, and requires a lot of enriching activities. He struggles with separation anxiety and, being a flame point Siamese, will be quite the handful in that regard because they require a lot of human interaction to avoid depression and litter box amnesia. I’m hoping his aggressive tendencies will subside once he’s neutered. He’s a little 💩.

Galaxy is the runt of their litter and will kick his ass if she has to. 😳🤭

6. I’m really pissed because my internet has been prepaid, but I have enjoyed NONE OF IT YET.

I can only call for customer service Monday through Friday, between a certain time frame. 😑 Like, what the actual F?

Last year, I screwed up by forgetting about tree allergens and moved ingo an apartment complex with pine trees everywhere.

This year, I didn’t consider asking about the internet beforehand.

But at the same time…why is it the one package UPS can’t deliver without fault?

---

Next time, I hope to be typing from my laptop! 🤞✨