Lively Lately #74: Highlights, lowlights

I’ve been lugging 485 pennies around since I got a battery-operated coin calculator that stopped working over 10 years ago. I’ve had it since I was at least 10, so 23 years?

Coin Star took an 83-cent fee for turning those coins into cash, but that’s 483 pennies I’m not lugging around anymore.

In my pennies, I found and set aside one with my birth year and older pennies. I have one that may be an error coin from 1944, but I’m not sure those actually sell. I think it’s cool because it’s so old and because of the “44”.

Highlights

• Had TMJ pain from July to now, and it’s finally subsided.
• Went over to someone’s house for dinner and card games, something I’d never have done if I were still around my relatives.

  My fam brainwashed me to fear anyone who wasn’t them and everything that wasn’t like them, so this was a big step for me.

• My typing speed is 80wpm at peak performance, with a 98-100% accuracy rate…and I don’t even type like the “regular” way people get taught.

  I know where every key I need is without even looking, but I can’t do my hands and fingers the expected way or else I’ll mess up. 🤷‍♀️ Yet I sound like a bloody keyboard warrior.

• Got my clothes, some bathroom stuff and a few other things out of my grandmother’s garage. I gave my bought-brand-new $800 Nectar queen mattress to my nephew, went with my cousin to pick it up, and put into her van as much as I could fit of my things.

  Having some of my clothes again is a feeling I can only describe as “I don’t have to do laundry every 2-4 days anymore”. I have one of my blush pink laundry baskets again!

  It’s the everyday mundane things people tend to take for granted that I have back in my grasp. Nothing has changed in my appreciation for these things then versus now. I love and care for my things, keeping them like new.

• I got some more clothes from a bag of clothes leftover from someone’s garage sale.

  One item was denim shorts. The smallest size in the bag that fits me better than the other sizes: 16P. The “P” stands for petite…and they’re also too big. 😭

  I’ve fallen in LOVE with denim shorts again. I hated them growing up, because my fam believed that a person needed to fit into their clothes and shamed body growth, so I’d wear really tight clothes a lot.

  Since I’ve been wearing sizes with letters (XL-3XL), I don’t know what size I wear. With pants, XL-2XL is fine — but they’re usually stretchy. Shirts, I like men’s 3XL because they cover most of my butt. 💁‍♀️

Lowlights

• Posted several posts I had on the backburner (in drafts, pending, in mind, etc.) and realized I don’t want to blog about autism outright forever.

  People attracted to these posts often want MORE, without realizing even posts like this one are autistic. Allistics want to be told how autistics experience life, not to be shown it.

  They want one specific autistic experience they can take and use to describe the collective autistic experience, which ignores the autism spectrum.

• I’ve been struggling with low blood sugar lately, which has been causing anxiety-like symptoms. It also causes me to cry seemingly out of nowhere, like my body starts panicking when my blood sugar is too low. I’ve experienced this a few times since becoming an adult, but this time, I realized that that was one of my struggles almost 15 years ago.

  I keep running into epiphanies that have me realizing not only how much I used to gaslight myself as the result of being gaslit, but how much of my supposed “major depression” was actually medical-related. Most, if not all, of my psychological-related “issues” are directly caused by a lack of eating enough.

• My blog didn’t load for people for I don’t know how long. 😒 I stopped using the Bunny.net CDN and have decided that if my host can’t handle more than 2-5k page views, it’s a host’s problem. 💁‍♀️ I literally pay for hosting to use the hosting. I’m planning to switch back to a faster host by December. 😒🙄

WordPress was wonky AF with the line breaks in <li>, so I wrote this post in the text editor (Classic Editor plugin), which means I coded it all myself. ✨