wild embers // poems of rebellion, fire & beauty

I bought this book because I was sent some TikTok videos of @nikitagillpoetry audios. I don’t know if it’s the actual Nikita Gill, but there a lot of poems I loved accompanied by #wildembers. I fell upon her because she’s a favorite poet of someone dear to me — I don’t love book recommendations, but I occasionally make exceptions. 😅

Although I was so excited to read it in one day, I’d had to do laundry and hadn’t slept — so it didn’t happen. I got far, though; poetry is something I read quickly — once through to read it, again to savor it, and every time after that is simply nostalgia or looking for a specific poem.

Poetry has always been so therapeutic for me. I wrote it in middle and high school, although it grew especially dark in high school. Teachers would censor me, or edit it for punctuation because they understood not the artistry that fell within poetry and punctuation themselves — not every line needed capitalization or commas. The over-editing led me to become what was known as a “Grammar Nazi” — I’m not sure if this term remains; I don’t use it, and I don’t find myself in circles where other people use it, either.

I eventually fell out of writing poetry altogether, but from 2013-2019, I wrote lyrics for albums never to be sung.

Wild Embers is the type of book I would loved, and found comfort in, in my darkest years. Family didn’t understand me, and the friends I had had preferred me when I was depressed and down and eager to please them.

That’s not to say I don’t love it. For the who I am today, Wild Embers articulates that which I feel about a lot of things, but never knew how to put into words myself. It’s genius, really. For all the sheltering, brainwashing and gaslighting I endured, Nikita Gill’s poetry feels like it breaks the rules. She speaks of magic and spells, but the kind that heals and soothes. It’s metaphorical and progressive and rebellious, encouraging a fire within me that’s been cultivating more so for the last year and a half.

I daresay it makes me want to stumble back into poetry myself.

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