“If you talk too much about what you’re going to do before you do it, you leave the game in the locker room.” ~ Michael Caine
This quote perfectly captures why I don’t make my goals public. Over time, I’ve realized that sharing goals often dilutes my motivation.
Once people congratulate or encourage me, I feel an artificial sense of accomplishment — and the drive to actually achieve the goal diminishes.
Why I don’t set traditional goals
I don’t make long-term or short-term goals unless they’re exceptionally flexible.
For me, goals can easily become external expectations rather than personal aspirations.
This is one reason I’ve never been a fan of New Year’s resolutions. They often feel performative, like a box you’re pressured to check rather than a meaningful pursuit.
Take driving, for example.
If I publicly announced, “I’m going to start driving again by the end of the year,” people would cheer me on.
But what if I’m not mentally or emotionally ready?
Setting that expectation would add unnecessary pressure, turning a personal milestone into something dictated by others’ timelines.
You can’t plan everything in life and expect everything to go exactly as your plan. Life doesn’t live up to our expectations.
Also…the desire to control everything through “goals” and blaming oneself for not achieving them — that is unresolved trauma showing up front and center.
What works for me instead
Rather than setting rigid goals, I focus on maintaining a sense of direction.
I use to-do menus for structure but don’t see them as goals.
Dreams and aspirations guide me, but they’re fluid and adaptable — not bound by deadlines or external validation.
When grade school teachers or mentors insisted on goal-setting, I understood their intent. Goals can be motivating for some, but they’ve never been my path to success.
Instead, I prioritize what feels meaningful in the moment and allow myself the freedom to pivot as needed.
“We spend our whole lives worrying about the future, planning for the future, trying to predict the future as if figuring it out will cushion the blow.
But the future is always changing. The future is the home of our deepest fears and wildest hopes.
But one thing is certain: when it finally reveals itself, the future is never the way we imagined it.”
~ Meredith Grey, Grey’s Anatomy
This Grey’s Anatomy quote resonates with me major. Over-planning leads to stress and disappointment, especially when life inevitably takes unexpected turns.
The downside of publicly sharing goals
Research supports the idea that sharing goals publicly can backfire.
When you share your ambitions, the praise or encouragement you receive can create a false sense of accomplishment. This phenomenon, known as the “social reality effect”, tricks your brain into feeling like you’ve already achieved something — even when you haven’t.
That’s why my “anti-goal” philosophy is personal, not professional.
In my personal life, I avoid rigid goals and public declarations to maintain my motivation and autonomy.
Professionally, I recognize the importance of planning and structure to achieve tangible results. I create blogging goals, but don’t share them with anyone outside my team. Right now, my blog team is only me. 🤣
Do goals work for you?
Everyone’s approach to goals is different.
For some, they’re essential for staying on track and measuring progress.
For others, like me, they can feel restrictive and counterproductive.
Whether you’re a goal-setter or not, what matters most is finding a system that aligns with your values and keeps you moving forward — on your own terms.
References
- Gollwitzer, P. M., Sheeran, P., Michalski, V., & Seifert, A. E. (2009). When intentions go public: Does social reality widen the intention-behavior gap? Psychological Science, 20, 612-618.
- Gollwitzer, P. M., Parks-Stamm, E. J., & Oettingen, G. (2009). Living on the edge: Shifting between nonconscious and conscious goal pursuit. In Morsella, E., Bargh, J. A., & Gollwitzer, P. M. (Eds.), Oxford handbook of human action (pp. 603 – 624). New York: Oxford University Press.
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Comments on this post
Diane
I used to make a goals, but not anymore. Making a list never really motivated me to do anything. For example, New Years Resolutions. I always forgot mine. Goal-setting is probably a good motivator for other people, but it’s not for me. I don’t share my goals because like you said, I’ll end up gathering unwanted attention. I don’t want to announce something I’ve accomplished until I’ve actually achieved it; otherwise I’ll be surrounded by disappointed or anxious pestering. It gets a little annoying.
I’m the type of the person who will try hard at something and see what happens. I don’t expect anything. I’m more of an observer than a setter. I guess that means that I may have a passive personality.
Christine
I agree! I think you’re right. There are some people that I know who HAVE to make goals, but I don’t always want everyone knowing exactly what it is I plan on doing. Who knows it I’m going to actually do it? And not completing your goals doesn’t automatically mean laziness or failure which is sometimes some people forget to think about. If my goal was to lose 50 lbs (idk….random…) and I got pregnant obviously that goal would be erased but not for a bad reason. This was a great post and I think that more people should have this view. We don’t need any extra pressure!
Shekinah
“If you talk too much about what you’re going to do before you do it, you leave the game in the locker room.”
— Michael Caine, actor
There are times when I get so excited about my plans/goals and I tend to talk too much about it and the result didn’t meet out expectations which is quite sad and disappointing. 🙁 Maybe I should control myself from talking too much. Less talking but more action.
I don’t make goals unless it’s necessary. I just do what I want. But I guess I need to start making goals soon.
I like the last quote that you quoted.
shot
I definitely agree with you! Sure, goals help some people, but I’ve never stuck to any. Concentrating on what’s important is the key. 🙂 Sharing goals, resolutions etc is definitely a way of asking for pressure, and as you said, they would never be reached/completed. If you want to start driving again, you have the right to keep that to yourself and not have to be put under pressure – others can find out when you want them to! 🙂
It turned out Disqus was working, but I hadn’t typed in my username in parts of the code. I didn’t even know it was possible to install Disqus into Cutenews, but there we are. I should probably make some Tumblr tutorials – I followed a great one on converting my HTML/CSS theme, and I just used the variables from Tumblr’s own tutorials. I still have Blogger ones from my previous blog, which aren’t doing much really, since a lot of visitors to my blog will probably be Tumblr users who have no interest in Blogger. I won’t delete them, mind. Also, thanks for wishing me luck – I’m feeling pretty confident about the exams atm, which hopefully is a good thing. 😛
Cat
I like making goals, though not long term ones as in years later. If the “deadline” is too far away, it’s no longer motivating for me. I share some of them because I kind of like the pressure of it. I need something to push me along when I slack. Some I don’t want to share because I don’t want any input or tips on it.
I like the second quote. I do think sometimes we think about the future too much, and it’s just too hard to tell what’s going to happen. I think that’s why I don’t like really long term goals.
Robin
I generally don’t make and share goals, for the same reasons that you described here. I don’t want to be observed and hounded when I don’t meet a goal in the way that someone else *thinks* I should, or *at the rate* that they think I should. This is one reason why I backed out of a healthy goals link-up with a few other bloggers – I made one mention of French fries (which I had actually been eating less often and in smaller portions) and was berated. I did recently mention a goal to cut back on sugar and sweets, but I left it vague – “cut back” – instead of outlining specific rules.
Frankly, I think the people who nag you to make goals are often trying to take the focus away from themselves, and the things that they need to improve on. It’s easier to talk about what someone else “should” (“should” in *their* opinion, that is) be doing instead of working on something themselves.
Georgie
Bingooooo. I think that by sharing our goals we feel incredibly pressured to do them, because other people know about it. The pressure then becomes too much to handle and we don’t want to live up to expectations, and the goal seems more daunting because everyone knows you’re onto it. I think that’s the main reason, in a nutshell. I feel much better if I come out after I have completed an achievement, and then announce it to everyone. I didn’t announce that I was a pescetarian until I managed to do it.
I didn’t tell everyone I was moving my blog in December – that was one of the biggest things I’ve done lately. If I told people, then I wouldn’t bother moving all my stuff, coding a new layout, and so on. I think some things don’t need to be shared with people. Goals can be incredibly personal things.