I have dissociative identity disorder and am also autistic.

Singlets, or people without dissociative identity disorder (DID), often ask for tips about creating and writing DID characters…and in places like Reddit and Quora, they get answers from people who don’t have DID themselves.

I created this guide/tips list for singlets wanting to write DID characters. There’s no point in trying to convince you not to go this route, or else you wouldn’t be here — so the next best thing is this: giving you sound advice on your journey.

While you may find some of this info sprinkled about the web, I’m sure there is info in here you won’t find or would never even consider.

This isn’t Quora, where everyone on the internet with two cents to give can offer up their answers. This is me, having DID, creating this blog post to help you create believable DID characters. 💁‍♀️

I’m using my terminology. Every person with DID is different. Not everyone refers to themselves as a “system”.

1. About “researching”

You can spend years researching, but you’ll never learn all there is to know about DID. Despite this disorder having existed for a while, research is lacking.

If autism is a circular spectrum like the color wheel, DID systems are galaxies. 👀 People with DID aren’t aliens or “superhumans”, but DID is a bit “out of this world” kind of “out there”.

Singlets (non-systems) tend to think of DID as this controlled behavior within one person, like a battle that’s happening within as the result of brokenness.

Used to, DID was called “Multiple Personality Disorder” (“MPD”), because singlets didn’t comprehend DID.

All DID research will be futile if you don’t first research the following + why:

• Early Childhood Development: Ages 0 to 8 are children’s primitive years. It’s during these years that DID can develop (though symptoms tend not to manifest until later), if trauma experienced is severe enough, and also the years during which identity forms.
• How identity is shaped and forms: I’ll actually be sharing this with you in a few.
• How severe trauma impacts childhood + the brain: This one goes back to early childhood development, with respect to long-term effects of trauma in the early years.
• Attachment theory: Understanding early childhood development first is critical, because it helps “fill in the blanks”, so to speak.

How identity forms

As children grow up, they collect personality traits from the people around them. Imagine these traits in multiple buckets.

A child may have a bucket for each person in their life of the traits they pick up (e.g. “Mom” bucket, “Bubba” bucket), or the buckets may be categorized into different types/themes like in The Sims 4:

• Emotional traits
• Hobby traits
• Lifestyle traits
• Social traits

As the child develops, they may drop or alter the personality traits they picked up. Altered personality traits may go into other buckets.

The difference between a singlet and a dissociative system is that, by age nine…

• a singlet has one bucket of personality traits that contribute to their identity.
• a system has multiple buckets of personality traits contributing to multiple identities.

Nothing “broke” or “breaks” in a dissociative system; systems are not “broken” pieces of someone’s identity.

Rather, dissociative systems’ buckets never consolidated into ONE bucket. Because of this, a system’s brain may “split” new identities by creating and filling new buckets — forever.

Splitting usually happens from stressful experiences or when the brain needs to cope with an experience it doesn’t have an alternate identity for.

Singlets often mislabel “splitting” as sudden, extreme mood changes, which isn’t DID at all — and I daresay ableist.

Articles by singlets say DID is “also known as ‘split personality disorder’” — no, it’s not. They’re thinking of and miscategorizing borderline personality disorder.

Forget everything you’ve read in books or seen on TV

I’ve yet to see or read media about DID that isn’t over-dramatized, inaccurate, ableist garbage. I feel most represented in media that never mentions an identity disorder at all.

Books and TV aren’t “research”.

Real DID research involves learning the necessary bits (as mentioned above) you need to comprehend DID and talking to systems — and multiple systems, not one or two.

It’s not always DID, either. There are two types of other specified dissociative disorders (OSDD), which aren’t considered as “severe” as DID.

In OSDD, alternate identities may be more fragmented instead of having two or more distinct identities like in DID.

This guide is about DID, not OSDD, because I have DID. Please keep this mind while reading it, researching DID, and talking to other systems.

Some things are extremely difficult to explain to singlets.

My name is not simply my name.

I’m Jane Lively, and Jane is me but it’s also the sum of my parts depending on the context.

I also created a super nuanced DID riddle.

The trauma

The trauma needs to happen between 1-6 years old and be aggressive/severe enough that a child’s mind would struggle to cope.

We’re not talking “my dad died when I was young, so I never had a father” trauma. That’s not the “severe” kind of trauma that creates DID.

Think unimaginable, horrific trauma that disturbs a child’s typical development and disturbs them to their core. Examples:

• Emotional abuse: Inconsistent parenting strategies, having to appease their caregivers by acting different in front of everyone, being criticized for typical child development things — so the child learns to hide who they are, spends a lot of time feeling unsafe, may bottle up their own anger/sadness.Their brain may start dissociating to cope when they’re criticized or yelled at, or need to act in a way that appeases their caregivers.
• Physical abuse: Children are the only humans adults can legally hit, in most countries. Their brains can’t cope with that; they don’t comprehend being hit on the rear (“spankings”) as “discipline”.It’s not “discipline”, either; it’s “punishment”. Those are two completely different terms, with completely different meanings — and yes, it matters.A child who was regularly hit, burned with cigarette butts or candle wax (yes, really), or experienced other kinds of physical abuse will live in fear. Their brains may dissociate to the point of developing an alter who takes the abuse (a type of protector), an alter who abuses the body/behaves so the body is further abused (persecutor)…and so on.

• Sexual abuse: This is similar to what might happen to a child who experiences physical abuse.

We used to engage in forum-based role-playing games, where you create characters and write their lives with other people. This was a great escape for us/really cathartic/allowed each alter to “exist” as they were, in a way I don’t know how to explain to singlets.

Every now and then, a singlet created a character with MPD or DID…and the most common issue would be the trauma.

The trauma needs to be extreme and repetitive emotional, physical and/or sexual abuse. Trauma literally screws with your brain chemistry; emotional abuse is considered just as bad — if not worse — than physical abuse.

This is why that list I gave you earlier about what to research is so important in researching, because early childhood development and attachment theory will cover this and make it make sense.

Know your DID character’s trauma. Hint at the abuse, but refrain from detailing it. Let your reader fill in the rest (and they will).

2. Start with a small system.

Start with 2-10 alters (small system). DID criteria is “two or more distinct identities”. Everyone within a system is an alternate identity; there is no “original” (remember how identity forms!).

Medium systems are 11-30, and large systems are 31+.

Most DID systems report having 10-16 alters. Once you hit 50+ alters, it starts to dip into possible OSDD. I’ve yet to come across a diagnosed DID system with more than 25 alters.

Every undiagnosed system with 50+ alters who thought they had DID and pursued diagnosis got OSDD as the result. 🤷‍♀️

Large DID systems are valid, of course — but as a singlet writer writing a DID character, don’t opt for a larger system because there is a lot of nuance. Work with a smaller DID system first.

Oh, by the way…

3. Every alter is another character in your story.

Yeaaah. Say you have a system of 8 (because we like that number) and a total of 4 supporting characters throughout the whole thing. You have 12 characters — not 5.

Develop 2-4 alters in full, because that’s typical of a DID system. Not all alters are fully developed in a system; there may be fragments or mostly dormant alters. 🤷‍♀️

On the note of dormancy: It’s still highly unrealistic to have a medium or large system with mostly dormant alters. 😬 That’s not “common” (although nothing about DID is “common”; this is another nuanced aspect that’s hard to explain to singlets; it’s like a homophone).

Creating a large system with 90% dormant alters = writer’s convenience. It’s like when a character on a TV show has a baby that you see for a few episodes and then never or rarely again.

Everyone in a system is an alter and of equal importance, even if/when they aren’t fully developed.

Not every alter has…

• Age
• Interests
• Gender
• Name
• Pronouns
• Sexual orientation
• Style
• A role/function

On TikTok, there are a lot of people (systems or not, IDC as long as they don’t hurt people) posting character-like sheets of their alters.

This isn’t the “norm”, even if it seems like it. Actually, attempting to do so can be even more dissociating.

Singlets often want to neatly define their characters so their development is “perfect”, but a DID system doesn’t really work that way. It kind of just…happens.

You’d be better off randomizing alter traits than doing that ish. Like singlets, alters can grow/develop/change because they’re dynamic — but we don’t get to choose the things that happen to us, how or what a new alter will be like, or any other superficial stuff.

The “character sheet”-type posts are more associated with what happens when a DID system maps out their system while getting to know their system.

Example

We have a story going that is more casual (we got ahead of ourselves and thought it’d be a routine thing, but no) called “Horrible People”.

One day, we’ll make it into a graphic novel or Sims 4 series. 🤷‍♀️ Until then, it’s the written word…and this is spoilers of one set of characters for the sake of the example.

Olive Dooley has what she perceives as an alter ego named Ashley Schepp. She remembers what happens when she dresses up and goes out as Ashley — or does she? She’s aware of these memories, feelings and thoughts associated with Ashley’s life, but she’s not fully conscious in regard to Ashley being a whole other person existing in her head.

Olive is a celebrity, and celebrities need escapes. Ashley provides that escape. Ashley has her own life — clothes, wig, friends, found family, apartment — but the readers don’t easily know this. It will only be revealed via subtle hints and references; to them, Ashley is merely Olive’s alter ego — not a whole other identity.

Olive is the primary host; Ashley is secondary. Neither can exist without the other; she’s a system of two. In order to bring Ashley to life, I had to know enough about her that I could drop hints.

As much as possible is dropped about Olive upfront. She’s not to be liked, for the goal is readers perceiving her as shallow, superficial, empty, etc. What may be perceived as “bad writing” is purposeful design. 💅

That’s the point: singlet perception.

Both are two characters that exist; sometimes, they exist together, but they mostly exist apart and never appear in the same room together.

Also, I have to explore which alter wants to do what/why someone does something. This is difficult for me to write as a system without entering a super conscious, writing state of mind.

Like, why did I put on my capri leggings when I planned to wear my black shorts? Was it a mental lapse (“brain fart”) or another alter’s choice?

4. Singlet perception

DID looks like ADHD to singlets. I think this is why singlets struggle sooo much to comprehend the reality of DID, or at least enough about it at first.

Are you familiar with the TV show Grimm? We love it. Wesen are like DID systems; Kehrseite-Schlich-Kennen (people aware of Wesen) are like singlets aware of DID beyond the stigma.

The Grimms are the types of people who recognize something is “off” about someone with DID, but in the negative way. My body’s legal name is not Freya J. Lively, nor will it ever be. The legal name will be changed, though, and it’s perceived by my system as a deadname.

Some people perceive this as me being a “scammer”, “con artist” or some other really ignorant ish that I don’t like thinking about because it’s prejudice AF.

Moreover, they completely reject DID when it’s explained. Being assigned female at birth (AFAB) with a feminine legal name, calling it a “deadname” doesn’t make sense to a lot of people…despite systems who 100% disassociate from their legal name perceiving such names as a “deadname”.

As a kid, my egg donor (we don’t refer to her as a “mother”) took me to multiple psychiatric offices, seeking a bipolar disorder or antisocial personality disorder diagnosis. While this has to do with her own mental illness, it’s a great example of how an abusive parent may treat their “abnormal” child.

Singlets recognize when a system is different, even if they can’t explain it. They may describe a DID system or alter as “not being all there”, “not telling the truth”, “not making sense”, “seeming off”.

A good blog friend (14+ years) told me what someone I had perceived as another good friend (she ghosted, and I was confused as to why) said about me, and it stuck with me because it summed up the witch hunt-style appointments I went to in my youth:

“It seems like she leaves a lot of detail out. She shares her story, but it’s like there’s more there that she’s not sharing. Some kind of missing piece. Feels like she’s lying for sympathy.”

It was DID. I had DID and hadn’t came out about it because I didn’t accept the diagnosis myself. But not sharing that part of myself led people to perceive me as a liar.

No one is obligated to have more detail than I feel comfortable sharing online. However, I’ve read back through old entries here and there, and…yeah, a lot of it feels “off”. There are a lot of things I didn’t understand, in regard to what was happening in my head/being a system.

I wasn’t “conscious” of my systemhood, and it showed in my writing/blog posts in the way of me leaving out important details or sounding like I was in desperate need of antipsychotics (or that I was writing my blog posts while getting high).

Singlets are prejudiced against people with DID, OSDD, etc. due to stigma perpetuated by society. This is reality, and it should be addressed if you’re writing a DID character. Singlet characters should perceive the DID system characters in a negative light, maybe even gaslighting them — I don’t know exactly what/how because the context matters.

5. DON’T write switches.

I can write switches because I have DID and understand the internal goings-on.

Singlets can’t write switches, because there aren’t enough examples and they might overdo it.

While brainstorming how to write this guide, I googled “how to write DID characters”, and I saw sooo many tips for switching. 🥴

Your DID system characters will be far more realistic if you DON’T write switches, because switches are rarely obvious.

They’re NOT dramatic Switching is rarely external and most often internal. This is one area where it looks/sounds like ADHD to singlets.

I know I’ve switched when I go into the kitchen and can’t remember if the light was already on or if I turned it on (I live with other people).

I know I’ve switched when I start making a sandwich one way and wind up with a sandwich made a different way; I don’t even realize while making it.

I know I’ve switched when I go to sleep on Tuesday and wake up seeing “Fri” on my phone’s lock screen.

Switching is subtle, more of an internal thing that’s dependent on consciousness, and not at all the way you think it might be/look.

Instead, have show the switches via time jumps if your alternate character isn’t aware — or hey, even if they are! Singlets comprehend losing time and not knowing what they did.

Focus more on the dissociative aspect of DID. That’s what it’s really about, anyway.

6. DID is a zebra diagnosis.

“When you hear hoofbeats, think horses — not zebras.”

Being diagnosed with DID as a minor is extremely rare and lucky. It’s more likely to happen when there is a calm (feeling safe feels unsafe) or the system struggles to maintain discretion.

Or if the system (body) escaped abuse, was away for a bit, and went back — that’s kind of what triggered it for mine.

DID is a taboo diagnosis. Doctors don’t understand it well, and many dismiss its existence entirely. Christians usually perceive DID as a “spiritual battle” between demons and the Holy Spirit. 👀

I was diagnosed with schizoaffective mood disorder and OSDD with episodes of psychosis until me having alternate identities came to light. Both diagnoses were replaced with “dissociative identity disorder” and complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD).

The “episodes of psychosis” came from me sharing that I was having blackouts, like standing in front of the bathroom mirror, blinking and winding up in the barn or at work. Or blacking out whilst driving and being lost in an unfamiliar city with no idea how to get home on my own.

Schizophrenia came up when I mentioned out-of-body experiences, but what brought DID to the table was finding a journal I didn’t recall writing, containing events and feelings I didn’t remember happening, with the name “Jane” signed at the end.

Because before I was “Jane”, I was the legal name, trying to get people to call me by my preferred nickname: Liz.

Hollywood doctors are sooo quick to bring up MPD/DID, and for why?! This isn’t realistic at all. That literally does not happen unless the patient seeks out someone familiar with DID.

And even then? Doctors don’t really want to “touch” DID. There’s no treatment, and they only know about Sybil, really. 🙄

7. “Co-morbid” disorders and complexity

Not “multitudes”, complexity. All DID systems are gonna have C-PTSD, which there’s not a “before the trauma” version of them (another common mistake singlets make).

Trying to figure out where DID ends and where CPTSD and autism begin and end is impossible. I cannot. No one can. People can try and have tried, but it never works.

I also have anorexia and avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID), which further complicates matters. DID systems may develop an eating disorder or appear to have one because of varying alters (remembering to feed the body/keep it alive is kind of hard).

I saw a Tumblr screenshot on Pinterest (because of course someone did that) about pretending you’re an alien inhibiting a human’s body, which is meek and weak in comparison, and you need to keep it alive so you can stay alive — as motivation to practice self-care.

That was definitely for singlets, because we don’t “pretend”; we kind of live that reality on a daily basis, and it’s not “motivation” or “fun”; it’s serious AF.

9. Use the correct terms as is relevant to the context

Don’t call alternate identities “egos” or “personalities”; they’re “alternate identities” or “alternate parts”.

I personally think it’s better to be subtle and hint at things for mystery and to encourage curiosity, but I understand if you want the DID aspect to be obvious. 🤷‍♀️

I’m humored by how obvious singlets want to be about DID in their books, while DID systems who write tend to be subtle and avoid drawing attention to DID — creating a bit of a puzzle where DID systems will know, but singlets will wonder and probably think nothing of it.

It’s because of this that I think singlets feel the need to know when DID exists — that someone is different in THAT kind of way. I’m not saying it’s bad or anything; rather, I challenge you to consider WHY you need the DID aspect to be obvious in your book.

Please don’t call or refer to DID as a “mental illness”. Even though this may be the medically correct way to reference it, DID is more complex than a mental illness.

Singlet concepts don’t apply to DID the same way; calling it a mental illness ignores the fact that it’s a coping mechanism for severe trauma.

9. Accept feedback from other systems

Talk to several DID systems and accept the feedback they give you. Ignoring feedback you don’t like in favor of the feedback you do like is confirmation bias and will be doing the DID community a disservice.

You’re allowed to disagree with people, but you’ve a responsibility if you’re a singlet writing about DID to write about it with integrity.

10. Don’t try to be perfect.

DID is a messy disorder. It’s not perfect, and that’s what irks a lot of people in the medical/science/religious communities.

They want to package DID up in a box they can wrap a pretty, dainty bow around — and they can’t.

DID varies so much that the ONLY criteria for DID is “two or more distinct identity states”.

You’re a singlet, so you won’t be perfect — but there is a singlet author who reportedly did a “perfect” job writing about DID. I can’t remember his name or the book, but I do know he spoke to loads of systems in order to write it and got a lot of feedback from them.

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There are a lot of tips out there about writing DID characters, so I wanted to include tips I don’t often see. I hope this guide helps you quite a bit more than the free ones out there.

My system didn’t truly start understanding each other until we learned about early childhood development to work in a daycare (lasted two days…) and, years later, learned about attachment theory and how trauma affects the brain.

If you’re a system, PLEASE SHARE IN THE COMMENTS any tips you have/your experience/etc.!