I have dissociative identity disorder and am also autistic.
Singlets, or people without dissociative identity disorder (DID), often ask for tips about creating and writing DID characters…and in places like Reddit and Quora, they get answers from people who don’t have DID themselves.
I created this guide/tips list for singlets wanting to write DID characters. There’s no point in trying to convince you not to go this route, or else you wouldn’t be here — so the next best thing is this: giving you sound advice on your journey.
While you may find some of this info sprinkled about the web, I’m sure there is info in here you won’t find or would never even consider.
This isn’t Quora, where everyone on the internet with two cents to give can offer up their answers.
This is me, having DID, creating this blog post to help you create believable DID characters. 💁♀️
I also have tips for creating realistic autistic characters.
I’m using my terminology. Every person with DID is different. Not everyone refers to themselves as a “system”.
1. About “researching”
You can spend years researching, but you’ll never learn all there is to know about DID. Despite this disorder having existed for a while, research is lacking.
If autism is a circular spectrum like the color wheel, DID systems are galaxies. 👀 People with DID aren’t aliens or “superhumans”, but DID is a bit “out of this world” kind of “out there”.
Singlets (non-systems) tend to think of DID as this controlled behavior within one person, like a battle that’s happening within as the result of brokenness.
Used to, DID was called “Multiple Personality Disorder” (“MPD”), because singlets didn’t comprehend DID.
All DID research will be futile if you don’t first research the following + why:
- Early Childhood Development: Ages 0 to 8 are children’s primitive years. It’s during these years that DID can develop (though symptoms tend not to manifest until later), if trauma experienced is severe enough, and also the years during which identity forms.
- How identity is shaped and forms: I’ll actually be sharing this with you in a few.
- How severe trauma impacts childhood + the brain: This one goes back to early childhood development, with respect to long-term effects of trauma in the early years.
- Attachment theory: Understanding early childhood development first is critical, because it helps “fill in the blanks”, so to speak.
How identity forms
As children grow up, they collect personality traits from the people around them. Imagine these traits in multiple buckets.
A child may have a bucket for each person in their life of the traits they pick up (e.g. “Mom” bucket, “Bubba” bucket), or the buckets may be categorized into different types/themes like in The Sims 4:
- Emotional traits
- Hobby traits
- Lifestyle traits
- Social traits
As the child develops, they may drop or alter the personality traits they picked up. Altered personality traits may go into other buckets.
The difference between a singlet and a dissociative system is that, by age nine…
- a singlet has one bucket of personality traits that contribute to their identity.
- a system has multiple buckets of personality traits contributing to multiple identities.
Nothing “broke” or “breaks” in a dissociative system; systems are not “broken” pieces of someone’s identity.
Rather, dissociative systems’ buckets never consolidated into ONE bucket. Because of this, a system’s brain may “split” new identities by creating and filling new buckets — forever.
Splitting usually happens from stressful experiences or when the brain needs to cope with an experience it doesn’t have an alternate identity for.
Singlets often mislabel “splitting” as sudden, extreme mood changes, which isn’t DID at all — and I daresay ableist.
Articles by singlets say DID is “also known as ‘split personality disorder’” — no, it’s not. They’re thinking of and miscategorizing borderline personality disorder.
Forget everything you’ve read in books or seen on TV
I’ve yet to see or read media about DID that isn’t over-dramatized, inaccurate, ableist garbage.
I feel most represented in media that never mentions an identity disorder at all.
Books and TV aren’t “research”.
Real DID research involves learning the necessary bits (as mentioned above) you need to comprehend DID and talking to systems — and multiple systems, not one or two.
It’s not always DID, either. There are two types of other specified dissociative disorders (OSDD), which aren’t considered as “severe” as DID.
In OSDD, alternate identities may be more fragmented instead of having two or more distinct identities like in DID.
This guide is about DID, not OSDD, because I have DID. Please keep this mind while reading it, researching DID, and talking to other systems.
Some things are extremely difficult to explain to singlets.
My name is not simply my name.
I’m Jane Lively, and Jane is me but it’s also the sum of my parts depending on the context.
I also created a super nuanced DID riddle.
The trauma
The trauma needs to happen between 1-6 years old and be aggressive/severe enough that a child’s mind would struggle to cope.
We’re not talking “my dad died when I was young, so I never had a father” trauma. That’s not the “severe” kind of trauma that creates DID.
Think unimaginable, horrific trauma that disturbs a child’s typical development and disturbs them to their core. Examples:
- Emotional abuse: Inconsistent parenting strategies, having to appease their caregivers by acting different in front of everyone, being criticized for typical child development things — so the child learns to hide who they are, spends a lot of time feeling unsafe, may bottle up their own anger/sadness.Their brain may start dissociating to cope when they’re criticized or yelled at, or need to act in a way that appeases their caregivers.
- Physical abuse: Children are the only humans adults can legally hit, in most countries. Their brains can’t cope with that; they don’t comprehend being hit on the rear (“spankings”) as “discipline”.It’s not “discipline”, either; it’s “punishment”. Those are two completely different terms, with completely different meanings — and yes, it matters.A child who was regularly hit, burned with cigarette butts or candle wax (yes, really), or experienced other kinds of physical abuse will live in fear. Their brains may dissociate to the point of developing an alter who takes the abuse (a type of protector), an alter who abuses the body/behaves so the body is further abused (persecutor)…and so on.
- Sexual abuse: This is similar to what might happen to a child who experiences physical abuse.
We used to engage in forum-based role-playing games, where you create characters and write their lives with other people. This was a great escape for us/really cathartic/allowed each alter to “exist” as they were, in a way I don’t know how to explain to singlets.
Every now and then, a singlet created a character with MPD or DID…and the most common issue would be the trauma.
The trauma needs to be extreme and repetitive emotional, physical and/or sexual abuse. Trauma literally screws with your brain chemistry; emotional abuse is considered just as bad — if not worse — than physical abuse.
This is why that list I gave you earlier about what to research is so important in researching, because early childhood development and attachment theory will cover this and make it make sense.
Know your DID character’s trauma. Hint at the abuse, but refrain from detailing it. Let your reader fill in the rest (and they will).
2. Start with a small system.
Start with 2-10 alters (small system). DID criteria is “two or more distinct identities”. Everyone within a system is an alternate identity; there is no “original” (remember how identity forms!).
Medium systems are 11-30, and large systems are 31+.
Most DID systems report having 10-16 alters. Once you hit 50+ alters, it starts to dip into possible OSDD. I’ve yet to come across a diagnosed DID system with more than 25 alters.
Every undiagnosed system with 50+ alters who thought they had DID and pursued diagnosis got OSDD as the result. 🤷♀️
Large DID systems are valid, of course — but as a singlet writer writing a DID character, don’t opt for a larger system because there is a lot of nuance. Work with a smaller DID system first.
Oh, by the way…
3. Every alter is another character in your story.
Yeaaah. Say you have a system of 8 (because we like that number) and a total of 4 supporting characters throughout the whole thing. You have 12 characters — not 5.
Develop 2-4 alters in full, because that’s typical of a DID system. Not all alters are fully developed in a system; there may be fragments or mostly dormant alters. 🤷♀️
On the note of dormancy: It’s still highly unrealistic to have a medium or large system with mostly dormant alters. 😬 That’s not “common” (although nothing about DID is “common”; this is another nuanced aspect that’s hard to explain to singlets; it’s like a homophone).
Creating a large system with 90% dormant alters = writer’s convenience. It’s like when a character on a TV show has a baby that you see for a few episodes and then never or rarely again.
Everyone in a system is an alter and of equal importance, even if/when they aren’t fully developed.
Not every alter has…
- Age
- Interests
- Gender
- Name
- Pronouns
- Sexual orientation
- Style
- A role/function
On TikTok, there are a lot of people (systems or not, IDC as long as they don’t hurt people) posting character-like sheets of their alters.
This isn’t the “norm”, even if it seems like it. Actually, attempting to do so can be even more dissociating.
Singlets often want to neatly define their characters so their development is “perfect”, but a DID system doesn’t really work that way. It kind of just…happens.
You’d be better off randomizing alter traits than doing that ish. Like singlets, alters can grow/develop/change because they’re dynamic — but we don’t get to choose the things that happen to us, how or what a new alter will be like, or any other superficial stuff.
The “character sheet”-type posts are more associated with what happens when a DID system maps out their system while getting to know their system.
Example
We have a story going that is more casual (we got ahead of ourselves and thought it’d be a routine thing, but no) called “Horrible People”.
One day, we’ll make it into a graphic novel or Sims 4 series. 🤷♀️ Until then, it’s the written word…and this is spoilers of one set of characters for the sake of the example.
Olive Dooley has what she perceives as an alter ego named Ashley Schepp. She remembers what happens when she dresses up and goes out as Ashley — or does she? She’s aware of these memories, feelings and thoughts associated with Ashley’s life, but she’s not fully conscious in regard to Ashley being a whole other person existing in her head.
Olive is a celebrity, and celebrities need escapes. Ashley provides that escape. Ashley has her own life — clothes, wig, friends, found family, apartment — but the readers don’t easily know this. It will only be revealed via subtle hints and references; to them, Ashley is merely Olive’s alter ego — not a whole other identity.
Olive is the primary host; Ashley is secondary. Neither can exist without the other; she’s a system of two. In order to bring Ashley to life, I had to know enough about her that I could drop hints.
As much as possible is dropped about Olive upfront. She’s not to be liked, for the goal is readers perceiving her as shallow, superficial, empty, etc. What may be perceived as “bad writing” is purposeful design. 💅
That’s the point: singlet perception.
Both are two characters that exist; sometimes, they exist together, but they mostly exist apart and never appear in the same room together.
Also, I have to explore which alter wants to do what/why someone does something. This is difficult for me to write as a system without entering a super conscious, writing state of mind.
Like, why did I put on my capri leggings when I planned to wear my black shorts? Was it a mental lapse (“brain fart”) or another alter’s choice?
4. Singlet perception
DID looks like ADHD to singlets. I think this is why singlets struggle sooo much to comprehend the reality of DID, or at least enough about it at first.
Are you familiar with the TV show Grimm? We love it. Wesen are like DID systems; Kehrseite-Schlich-Kennen (people aware of Wesen) are like singlets aware of DID beyond the stigma.
The Grimms are the types of people who recognize something is “off” about someone with DID, but in the negative way. My body’s legal name is not Freya J. Lively, nor will it ever be. The legal name will be changed, though, and it’s perceived by my system as a deadname.
Some people perceive this as me being a “scammer”, “con artist” or some other really ignorant ish that I don’t like thinking about because it’s prejudice AF.
Moreover, they completely reject DID when it’s explained. Being assigned female at birth (AFAB) with a feminine legal name, calling it a “deadname” doesn’t make sense to a lot of people…despite systems who 100% disassociate from their legal name perceiving such names as a “deadname”.
As a kid, my egg donor (we don’t refer to her as a “mother”) took me to multiple psychiatric offices, seeking a bipolar disorder or antisocial personality disorder diagnosis. While this has to do with her own mental illness, it’s a great example of how an abusive parent may treat their “abnormal” child.
Singlets recognize when a system is different, even if they can’t explain it. They may describe a DID system or alter as “not being all there”, “not telling the truth”, “not making sense”, “seeming off”.
A good blog friend (14+ years) told me what someone I had perceived as another good friend (she ghosted, and I was confused as to why) said about me, and it stuck with me because it summed up the witch hunt-style appointments I went to in my youth:
“It seems like she leaves a lot of detail out. She shares her story, but it’s like there’s more there that she’s not sharing. Some kind of missing piece. Feels like she’s lying for sympathy.”
It was DID. I had DID and hadn’t came out about it because I didn’t accept the diagnosis myself. But not sharing that part of myself led people to perceive me as a liar.
No one is obligated to have more detail than I feel comfortable sharing online. However, I’ve read back through old entries here and there, and…yeah, a lot of it feels “off”. There are a lot of things I didn’t understand, in regard to what was happening in my head/being a system.
I wasn’t “conscious” of my systemhood, and it showed in my writing/blog posts in the way of me leaving out important details or sounding like I was in desperate need of antipsychotics (or that I was writing my blog posts while getting high).
Singlets are prejudiced against people with DID, OSDD, etc. due to stigma perpetuated by society. This is reality, and it should be addressed if you’re writing a DID character. Singlet characters should perceive the DID system characters in a negative light, maybe even gaslighting them — I don’t know exactly what/how because the context matters.
5. DON’T write switches.
I can write switches because I have DID and understand the internal goings-on.
Singlets can’t write switches, because there aren’t enough examples and they might overdo it.
While brainstorming how to write this guide, I googled “how to write DID characters”, and I saw sooo many tips for switching. 🥴
Your DID system characters will be far more realistic if you DON’T write switches, because switches are rarely obvious.
They’re NOT dramatic Switching is rarely external and most often internal. This is one area where it looks/sounds like ADHD to singlets.
I know I’ve switched when I go into the kitchen and can’t remember if the light was already on or if I turned it on (I live with other people).
I know I’ve switched when I start making a sandwich one way and wind up with a sandwich made a different way; I don’t even realize while making it.
I know I’ve switched when I go to sleep on Tuesday and wake up seeing “Fri” on my phone’s lock screen.
Switching is subtle, more of an internal thing that’s dependent on consciousness, and not at all the way you think it might be/look.
Instead, have show the switches via time jumps if your alternate character isn’t aware — or hey, even if they are! Singlets comprehend losing time and not knowing what they did.
Focus more on the dissociative aspect of DID. That’s what it’s really about, anyway.
6. DID is a zebra diagnosis.
“When you hear hoofbeats, think horses — not zebras.”
Being diagnosed with DID as a minor is extremely rare and lucky.
It’s more likely to happen when there is a calm (feeling safe feels unsafe) or the system struggles to maintain discretion.
Or if the system (body) escaped abuse, was away for a bit, and went back — that’s kind of what triggered it for mine.
DID is a taboo diagnosis. Doctors don’t understand it well, and many dismiss its existence entirely.
Christians usually perceive DID as a “spiritual battle” between demons and the Holy Spirit. 👀
I was diagnosed with schizoaffective mood disorder and OSDD with episodes of psychosis until me having alternate identities came to light.
Both diagnoses were replaced with “dissociative identity disorder” and complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD).
The “episodes of psychosis” came from me sharing that I was having blackouts, like standing in front of the bathroom mirror, blinking and winding up in the barn or at work.
Or blacking out whilst driving and being lost in an unfamiliar city with no idea how to get home on my own.
Schizophrenia came up when I mentioned out-of-body experiences, but what brought DID to the table was finding a journal I didn’t recall writing, containing events and feelings I didn’t remember happening, with the name “Jane” signed at the end.
Because before I was “Jane”, I was the legal name, trying to get people to call me by my preferred nickname: Liz.
Hollywood doctors are sooo quick to bring up MPD/DID, and for why?! This isn’t realistic at all. That literally does not happen unless the patient seeks out someone familiar with DID.
And even then? Doctors don’t really want to “touch” DID. There’s no treatment, and they only know about Sybil, really. 🙄
7. “Co-morbid” disorders and complexity
Not “multitudes”, complexity. All DID systems are gonna have C-PTSD, which there’s not a “before the trauma” version of them (another common mistake singlets make).
Trying to figure out where DID ends and where CPTSD and autism begin and end is impossible. I cannot. No one can. People can try and have tried, but it never works.
I also have anorexia and avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID), which further complicates matters. DID systems may develop an eating disorder or appear to have one because of varying alters (remembering to feed the body/keep it alive is kind of hard).
I saw a Tumblr screenshot on Pinterest (because of course someone did that) about pretending you’re an alien inhibiting a human’s body, which is meek and weak in comparison, and you need to keep it alive so you can stay alive — as motivation to practice self-care.
That was definitely for singlets, because we don’t “pretend”; we kind of live that reality on a daily basis, and it’s not “motivation” or “fun”; it’s serious AF.
9. Use the correct terms as is relevant to the context
Don’t call alternate identities “egos” or “personalities”; they’re “alternate identities” or “alternate parts”.
I personally think it’s better to be subtle and hint at things for mystery and to encourage curiosity, but I understand if you want the DID aspect to be obvious. 🤷♀️
I’m humored by how obvious singlets want to be about DID in their books, while DID systems who write tend to be subtle and avoid drawing attention to DID — creating a bit of a puzzle where DID systems will know, but singlets will wonder and probably think nothing of it.
It’s because of this that I think singlets feel the need to know when DID exists — that someone is different in THAT kind of way. I’m not saying it’s bad or anything; rather, I challenge you to consider WHY you need the DID aspect to be obvious in your book.
Please don’t call or refer to DID as a “mental illness”. Even though this may be the medically correct way to reference it, DID is more complex than a mental illness.
Singlet concepts don’t apply to DID the same way; calling it a mental illness ignores the fact that it’s a coping mechanism for severe trauma.
9. Accept feedback from other systems
Talk to several DID systems and accept the feedback they give you. Ignoring feedback you don’t like in favor of the feedback you do like is confirmation bias and will be doing the DID community a disservice.
You’re allowed to disagree with people, but you’ve a responsibility if you’re a singlet writing about DID to write about it with integrity.
10. Don’t try to be perfect.
DID is a messy disorder. It’s not perfect, and that’s what irks a lot of people in the medical/science/religious communities.
They want to package DID up in a box they can wrap a pretty, dainty bow around — and they can’t.
DID varies so much that the ONLY criteria for DID is “two or more distinct identity states”.
You’re a singlet, so you won’t be perfect — but there is a singlet author who reportedly did a “perfect” job writing about DID. I can’t remember his name or the book, but I do know he spoke to loads of systems in order to write it and got a lot of feedback from them.
There are a lot of tips out there about writing DID characters, so I wanted to include tips I don’t often see. I hope this guide helps you quite a bit more than the free ones out there.
My system didn’t truly start understanding each other until we learned about early childhood development to work in a daycare (lasted two days…) and, years later, learned about attachment theory and how trauma affects the brain.
If you’re a system, PLEASE SHARE IN THE COMMENTS any tips you have/your experience/etc.!
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Comments on this post
Guest
Very useful! The protagonist of a comic I’m co-authoring has something similar to OSDD, so I’ve been doing as much research as I can (I say something similar because it happens as a result of a monkey’s paw situation, which is traumatic in and of itself… the character still does, of course, have trauma.) If you’re still looking at this old blog post… how do you feel about that plot point, anyway? I asked a few systems and I didn’t get an answer from any of them
Jane Lively
I don’t know what the plot point is, but why is it necessary for the character to have something similar to OSDD? Why does it need to be named?
C
I’m a system and one thing I’ll say is give the alters relationships with each other. I mean they share a body, they’re gonna have to have some sort of emotions towards and bonds with one another. Good relationship, bad relationship, it’s up to you. Some systems (mine included) even have in-system relationships like romantic or familial relationships. don’t be afraid to play around with that aspect
Maggypie
Thank you so much for writing this blog post! Its been helpful to me (as a singlet) even outside of writing. As much as I try my absolute best to treat people without prejudice, I know I have ingrained societal biases, and I really want to work to educate myself and overcome them, so thank you so much!
I saw that in a reply to another comment, you explained that most of the time, people want to write characters with DID to either add “depth” to a villain, or to raise awareness, and that the second is often better left to people with lived experience of it. This really resonated with me, and I did some introspection about why I wanted to introduce a system to my story. I’ve thought about it, and I think it is because I want the world my story is set in to be reflective of the real world, and the real world has people with DID in it, so it is simply statisically possible that a character(s) in the story could have it. I’m going to be including other neuroatypical (I think thats the right word?) people too. However, the idea only just occurred to me, and I would be happy to drop it if it might be harmful to real people with DID, who are 100% the priority over anything I would like to write.
I’m planning for the character(s? What would be the correct way to collectively refer to the system?) to be a reoccurring minor character who’s DID is part of their identity but not the sole or main focus. I still want to understand how to write that part of them well, however little focus it actually gets in the story.
The world that my story is set in is much less scientifically advanced world, so the characters would not have an understanding of psychological conditions, and they wouldn’t know that DID is a thing, or what can cause it or anything. This leads to a few of my questions:
If there was a point where you didn’t know you had DID, what did you think it was, and how did you think it worked?
What would be an OK way for the system’s community to view them? (I’d like to emphasise that this society does not stigmatise neuroatypical traits and conditions like ours does, they’re much more accepting of differences even though they have very minimal understanding.) My main idea for what the community and probably also the system themselves would think is that they have multiple ‘souls’, ‘spirits’ or ‘ghosts’ inside them. Is this okay, or would it be too close to harmful misconceptions? To be absolutely clear, this will not at all be the actual case, and they wouldn’t be treated as being wrong or cursed because of the presumed cause. Its just that in a culture without scientific understanding of the mind, I thought that they would probably have a supernatural explanation? Are there any better alternatives that you can think of?
To what degree is information shared between alters? After a switch (and I’ve taken on board that switches shouldn’t be externally noticeable, thank you for explaining that!), does the next alter remember nothing, everything, or only some things that the previous alter experienced? Or does it vary?
Can skills be shared between alters? For example, if one alter learned to crochet, could the others know too, or not? I’d like the system in my story to have an important role in the community, perhaps as a healer of some sort, and I was wondering whether only one alter would be it, or whether multiple ones could?
Do you know if alters ever encounter each other in any manner? Or are all the others dormant while one is in control?
And finally, are switches random or influenced by internal/external stimulus, or can both be the case?
Thank you again for writing this, and its fine if you don’t want to answer any of my questions, I just thought I might as well ask! Hope you’re having a great day 😀
Zion
Hey, so I’m writing a book with one of my good friends (we’ll call him Hamilton) and one of the main characters has DID. So basically, we have two main characters and we will each write the different characters. I’m writing our DID character and Hamilton is writing the other character. Does anyone have any tips for writing this character? It is in the first person pov so could I have some tips on how to write that thoughts of the character. Have a good day!! Or night! I don’t know where people are and time zones are annoying!
Zion
p.s. The character is the main antagonist.
Jane Lively
Why are you creating an antagonist with DID?
Zion
Honestly, don’t remember. I will ask my friend. It’s been a moment since we discussed anything.
Zion
He said quote, “Because we wanna write an antagonist with DID because playing into the psychology and how it effects their day to day sounds like and interesting concept” Thats the exact words.
Jane Lively
So basically appropriating and reinforcing DID stereotypes. My advice, as someone with DID: Don’t write it. We have enough problematic DID representation and don’t need anymore writers vilifying us.
Zion
Thanks for the advice!
Zion
Update!! The character, he is now a lawyer. We’ve moved away from DID so we don’t add to the misconceptions.
Remmi
Thanks im a youngish writer and im very inexperienced in making characters with DID or other things like it (literally anything other then Adhd and major to minor depression) this helps tons with building charecters with DID
Taz
i have partial did, im closeting it rn in my household as best as i can. i am currently writing a book and i want the mc’s little sister to have did, this helped a ton.
also as i was rewatching spiderman no way home, green goblin was describing like stuff and i sorta related to it ig and thats how i found out he had it, i dont usually watch spiderman, and i thought the representation was rlly rlly cool
Vincent
I am a singlet currently making an indie show, and I saw a video about how someone with D.I.D. wanted more realistic representation, so I noticed that one of my characters had a few of the symptoms of it, and that her canonical backstory would realistically work.
I want to make the best representation I (emphasis on “I” because I don’t believe I’ll make the best representation EVER) so I’m actually planning to talk to someone with D.I.D. about their experience, and reading articles from actual people with D.I.D. helps a ton. TThank you for writing this.
Jane Lively
So glad it helped! ~10 years ago, I was set on creating an indie web series about DID to educate people about DID respectfully ft. myself, but…never happened.
I understand how much goes into the process and wish you luck!
Pezimint
We’re a system ourselves but we don’t understand our own system stuff as much to write it that well yet so this is very helpful! I have plans to make a character for text roleplays that has OSDD like ourselves and I was just so unsure what would trigger switching since we ourselves can barely tell when it happens ;o; This helped a lot, thank you!
Cyan
Hey, to begin, thank you for sharing your life as DID, it gives me so much facts about DID. You’re brave just to tell about your thoughts.
So i’m a singlet, i understand tht i’ll never experience or know 100% wht you have been through till now. Tht’s why im hear searching for smn tht is able for me to tell about my ideas in mind and give some advices for experts or source. I don’t want to be disrespectful n if i smh write not in a good english word, pls do correct me, since english isn’t my first language as well.
To make it simple, I’ll list out my writing plans for you then ask my question at the end.
1. My Motive: Searching fact checks to write a story with a DID character
2. Why? about DID that can also live equally. To be specific, ppl with DID can fall in love with someone/deserved to get the love in this world.
3. What inspired me to do tht? I saw a reels tht a person with DID said that ppl with DID always get the wrong idea from society of having psychopath/persecutor alter cuz of a famous movie (Split), and that ppl with DID can also feel how fall in love with smn else (singlet)
4. Genre for the story: romance, drama & school (the timeline will be in highschool) with reader requiring 16+ age
5. How many alters? 3-4 alters. Socialbutterfly type alter,Protector&gatekeeper, persecutor, host (im srry tht im not giving little, ik its normal for DID to have littles, but i just want to be safe)
6. A lil highlight of the story: a girl with DID somehow attracted to 2 famous guys in school, while having to go through obstacles from the female antagonist (singlet) from her jealousy of the girl . Furthermore, 2 guys will also fight for the girl and understand more about her. The antagonist will take advantage of the girl DID/each alters’s weakness or trauma. But overtime, she’s able to still stand tall with the help of the girl’s close friends n male leads. Ending it with the girl dating with one of the guy and a happy ending.
7. Morally: Ppl with DID is able to receive love equally and not feel doubt to be love and trusted by smn fully while awaring people about how dangerous u can effect smn feelings
That’s a lil backstory, i do some researching in a yt @dissociaDID before seeing ur blog, thats why kinda understand a bit about DID. Here’s some of my quetions:
1. Is this allowed to become a story?
2. How does each alters reacts when a host alter fell in love with someone (singlet)?
3. Hve u had or have and a romantic experience with singlet? If you do, will it be okay for you to share a little about romantic experience with tht person? (If its not a good story for you to tell, its okay u dont hav to, i understand)
That’s all i hope to get ur reply and hear your thoughts about this. I want to learn more carefully from the source. I also want to say srry if i smh disrespect u or the DID community from my words above, i rlly mean it. Thank you n have a wonderful day
Fan Fic Writer
I actually started out by writing a fan fiction for a video game trilogy I love called “Jak and Daxter”. Originally, I didn’t actually plan on giving the main character (Jak) DID. But as I was talking to my partner, who had done a ton of research about DID during a time they thought they might have it (they realized they didn’t but they spent a lot of time listening to people talk about their first hand experiences) and they mentioned that the original story, and some elements of my fic gave them “Character with DID coded vibes”.
I decided I’d like to lean into this as there are a lot of elements of subversion of tropes in this story. In the source material it’s you’re basic (and, I’m learning, rather insensitive) “dark magic gave me a monster in my head” kind of thing. I wanted to revamp this into a more accurate DID experience based on the first hand accounts I’ve been reading from people with DID. For example:
-Instead of the the alter forming during the character’s late teens (which I understand is not a thing in the way the source material presents it), I’m building on canon information that the character suffered a massive trauma while he was a toddler and the fanon that he continued to experience severe neglect through to adulthood.
-He (one of the alters) has always been there, in a sort of vague nebulous way, fighting Jak’s battles and handling stressful situations. As the story progresses, Jak starts to realize what is happening. At some point developing the ability to interact with his head mate.
-Rather than have the alter be the “dark magic, evil version” of the MC, He is basically the warrior/protector of the system and can front without “the transformation”. Although he is triggered by spikes in adrenaline.
There’s more, but the point in this post that made me think the most was “What is your motivation?” I suppose mine is to flip the source material and wright the character in a way that’s more accurate to the way someone with DID would more through the existing narrative (the narrative is not /about/ Jak having DID, that’s just one part to the story).
Anyway, thank you for writing this post. It confirmed some stuff I had already been wondering about from what I’d been reading, and gave me some new stuff to consider.
Also, sorry for rambling. I guess my question is: What do you think of the changes I listed above? Is it possible to write a character, who is coded in the OG material as having DID, “more respectfully”?
Thank you for your time.
Jane Lively
I appreciate that you’re trying to approach this thoughtfully, but what you’ve described still treats DID as a narrative concept rather than as part of a person’s reality. My post isn’t saying “don’t ever write DID characters” — it’s about writing them realistically and without turning the disorder into a plot device, awareness story, or metaphor.
A respectful DID character isn’t defined by their diagnosis, trauma, or “system dynamics.” They’re a whole person who happens to have DID — not someone whose disorder drives the story or serves as a creative twist. That’s the distinction I’m trying to get across.
Jane Lively
I appreciate that you’re trying to be thoughtful about representation, but this kind of storyline actually falls into several of the stereotypes my post discusses — turning DID into a dramatic or romantic plot device and centering singlet perspectives under the banner of “awareness.”
DID isn’t something to fictionalize for awareness or to “prove” that people with DID can be loved. We already can — that’s not a narrative that needs singlet validation. What matters most is avoiding stories that reduce DID to trauma triggers, fragmented personalities, or “overcoming” mental illness through romance.
Also, be cautious with sources like DissociaDID. Many people with DID, myself included, consider their content misleading or sensationalized. If you’re serious about learning, it’s better to seek community-led educational resources instead of influencer-style accounts.
FanFic Wrighter
Thank you for taking the time to give me such a detailed reply. I’ll take the narrative in a different direction. I really appreciate your insight.
Jane Lively
Sorry it took so long 😅
Maddie
Hi, so I’m writing a horror book, the killer is going to have DID. But more scary? I guess more like a demon. I do NOT have DID, I don’t want to be disrespectful. So please let me know if this is okay? I’m not writing switches, so no like actual killer alter. Just a normal person who knows nothing (AND nothing about DID).
Jane Lively
Why does the killer have DID? Why do they need to have it?
Because DID is too often depicted in fictional villains because villains. Like, why does the character NEED to have DID, why does it need to be scarier than DID? Why do they need DID to justify they’re a demon?
These are all questions you need to ask yourself. If you’re not writing switches, why/how is it DID? It would make zero sense. That’s not DID, even if you wrote it from a perspective of the character who doesn’t know.
My concern is why your character — and a killer at that — needs to have DID in your story, because it could most likely work without it (and be better for it, too). A person with DID who is a killer cannot not have a killer alter. Literally at least one alter would be a killer.
From my perspective, I do think writing such a character where you want the killer to have DID and be more scary, like a demon, is disrespectful to the lived experiences of people with DID, what causes DID, how DID develops, the stigma people with DID face as a result of how DID is portrayed in film and literature, and the amount of misinformation in the world about DID. Because I think the story could simply be a horror book about a character who is simply evil, like a demon, which you don’t need DID for.
Forthe
Hello, I want to say thank you so much for this guide. I’m very interested in trying to learn everything I can for this character I have been developing. I wanted to know if you had any opinions on a few things, the first being visual interpretations of alters. I’m planning a comic where the main character discovers she has DID (it is a more futuristic setting but she essentially has no idea she is an alter in a system), and I would love your opinion if it would be improper for there to be subtle differences when someone else is fronting. I was specifically thinking about her hair being spikier for one or flatter for the other, if only slightly. She also has cybernetic eyes, and I thought about them changing appearance with each shift
Is there also major differences between how an alter sees themself within a headspace versus the physical body? I have seen a bit of that in discussion where they sometimes look radically different than the body.
Finally, just a little off topic, have you seen Doom Patrol? I had a system friend in passing a few years ago that said it was the only interpretation of DID they liked and wanted to know your thoughts. Thanks again for this blog post!
Moody
I’ve recently started developing an oc with DID and I wanted to share their concept to get opinions and feedback. This oc belongs to a video-game fandom so they aren’t an actual human but have a humane consciousness. Alter A and Alter B are aware of one another, but don’t know the specifics of why. (Basically they don’t know what a DID system is, but do know that they have two identities.) They have two separate names that only they know of. In public, other people refer to them as one name that both of them have become accustomed to responding to. This oc is sort of like a living game console. They were created to serve as entertainment for little kids. The trauma that triggered DID was the verbal and physical abuse they endured from their creator. They were meant to be entertaining, so their creator “trained” them to be energetic and approachable via “discipline.”
Now to the dynamics of Alter A and Alter B. Alter A fronts the majority of the time since their traits are based around interacting with others alongside the fact they’re in a setting where they don’t get much alone time. Alter B fronts usually when the body is alone and there’s no one that needs to be entertained. After they became more aware of one another, they began co-fronting more often so that there aren’t any severe memory gaps and so Alter B can maintain a stronger sense of control of the body.
My main worry is if having two alters is not enough and inaccurate. That maybe there’s something else that this would fall under this isn’t DID. Any and all constructive criticism is welcome, but I’d prefer advice from people with DID or knowledge that’s coming from someone with DID—just to be sure it’s accurate.
Kai Tietz
I (a singlet, I think) have been trying (and definitely failing, as I am now realising) to build one of my characters who has DID for a while now, and this post is definitely a very helpful tool! I am doing as much research as I can to try and make the story as realistic as possible. If you have any tips for writing a main character with DID, I’d love to know! Thank you for writing this!
Sol
I am currently working on a character with DID. He has three separate identities and I am doing my best to represent this accurately. I am speaking with those who have DID or different forms of it, looking at different studies, etc. This has been extremely helpful for me as I always want to write accurately and respectfully to the best of my abilities, and as someone who does not have DID I am just trying to do my best. Thank you for making this!
Syd
This has been so helpful because I really love characters that have multiple personalities whether they have DID, or they’re like sun and moon from FNAF. And I’ve been worried about writing people with DID. This has cleared so much up so thank you 🙂
A Writer Reexamining A DID Character
Hi there! Thank you for this post. It’s wonderful to see this topic addressed directly by a DID system.
I’m a singlet, as far as I can tell, though a handful of times over the years I’ve wondered. About twelve years ago, a story came to me, complete with a DID main character. Two alters, both identifying as women with the same age as their body. I did research at the time, both academic and blog posts by DID systems, and for some reason, whether though privilege blinders or perhaps chronic illness brainfog, it never occurred to me to actually run the concept or the manuscript by a DID system. I realized this was a gross oversight on my part, so I’ve started reaching out, and someone pointed me to this post.
Your comments and the feedback I’ve gotten from another person suggest I need to seriously rethink if I write the character with DID at all. This character is intensely personal to me, and over the years her DID has seemed like a much more extreme version of my own trauma coping mechanisms (her trauma also being much more extreme than mine).
But, as I said, as far as I know, I’m a singlet. It’s not my lane. And despite years and many drafts of pouring myself into this character and her story, as deeply uncomfortable as it is, I do want to honestly ask myself the question, “Can I tell this character’s story without DID? Can I write this character’s experience to more closely resemble my own, without extrapolating to DID?”
While I’m doing that soul searching, if you’re open to questions, I’d be interested in your take. Since explaining things to singlets, or reading singlet takes on DID might use a lot of spoons, I understand if you’re not interested. I will do my best to use the terminology I’ve seen on your blog, and please feel free to correct me if I make a mistake.
Content warning: References to characters with DID who are violent.
One of my main questions has to do with the portrayal of characters with DID and violence. When this character came to me, I saw her as a reversal of the “Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde” trope: Dr. Jekyll (the host alter?) would be the violent one, and Mr. Hyde the reasonable one.
The character’s backstory, in very broad strokes: It’s a fantasy novel and she has magical powers. She was groomed by her mother the queen with extreme abuse from childhood to become a weapon. In addition to the abuse, being a tool of violence and oppression against others is itself traumatic. There’s also the factor that the only way she could effectively rebel was for her rebellion to be secret even to herself. The way Alter A, who fronts most of the time for over thirty years (that might make her the host?), finds to cope and survive is to be complicit and become everything her mother wants her to be. She is full of rage. Alter A might fit the role of “protector/persecutor”.
Alter B, who for the first thirty-ish years only rarely fronts, leading to alarming blackouts for Alter A, starts fronting the moment she sees the opportunity to end her mother’s reign of terror. Alter B is rational, reasonable, and committed to repairing the damage of her mother’s reign. Alter B has compassion for Alter A and understands why she did what she did, but also sees that it can’t be allowed to continue, and causes Alter A to become dormant. Alter B might fit the role of “gatekeeper” and “emotional protector” and perhaps becomes the “host” after stopping the queen’s reign of terror.
Despite Alter B’s gatekeeping, Alter A occasionally manages to front. She is having very long blackouts now, she’s convinced she’s possessed, and goes on a rampages trying to figure out what’s going on and is convinced she has to somehow kill Alter B. After short bursts of Alter A fronting, Alter B causes her to go dormant again. They don’t have effective inter-system communication, though Alter B is working on it.
I thought I was flipping the script because being violent (part of the abuse) is the trauma that *causes* the DID, rather than being a *result* of DID. But it finally occurred to me, well, it’s still a violent character with DID. And I could imagine a DID system reading it and slapping a hand over the eyes and saying, “Someone did it AGAIN.”
Any thoughts or feedback you might have would be appreciated. Thanks again for this post!
Jane Lively
Before I was diagnosed with DID, I created characters who felt extremely real and personal to me. Like they were real. I still do this, but I’m more able to recognize now why I’m so attached to my characters, who are based on existing alters, etc. I actually had a character named Jane at least 4 years before I settled on using the name for myself. It never occurred to me prior to my DID diagnosis that I could potentially be recreating parts of myself as fictional characters.
There’s a saying that goes around in the DID community — “singlets know for certain they’re singlets; they never second guess themselves”.
I’m going to do your questions ish as more akin to notes I make as I read them 🙂
- I’m not familiar with the Jekyll & Hyde story. I tried to follow a little of it while watching Once Upon a Time, but I was confused and didn’t like it. 😅
- I think you need to research quite a bit about DID system politics, because the inner world — even without communication among alters — doesn’t function at all like it does in reality. An alter can’t bring out a dormant alter or “make” an alter go dormant without knowing they’re a system. An “evil” or violent alter wouldn’t exist alone. That’s the thing with DID, and sort of the problem with people unaware of the nuance associated with DID. It’s not a this/that, good/bad alters. It’s not so finely divided.
- My article on DID myths & Beauty After Bruise’s article on on the same topic may help.
- Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde is more about alcohol/drug addiction than DID. (Reddit post with commentary)
- Having only two alters is possible, of course — the diagnostic criteria is “two or more distinct alternate identities”, period. However, that’s more commonly how it starts. I was diagnosed when I only thought I had one alter. Actually, it was when another alter thought she only had ONE alter.
- There can be multiple hosts. I have a post on alter roles.
- Also, back to how you start it…singlets writing about DID often choose fantasy/supernatural/dystopian/psychological thrillers. That’s why there is a singlet-writing-DID-characters stereotype. Because it’s never actually writing one DID character. It’s two or more DID characters. Because to singlets, the character with DID is one person (even when they know the character DID). That’s the problem I/my system has with meeting other singlets: They see us as the same person, treat us as the same person, etc.
- Not knowing you’re a system is more subtle than this, even with blackouts. I have some posts on my experience. I’ve tagged a lot of them with #did on my blog. Some are directly related to/associated with DID; others are more nuanced, more hinted at. Possibly some good posts to read:
- The falling out
- Life timeline
- Ditching my legal name (title might be changed away from my legal name later, so URL will change; won’t be anytime soon & I set up redirects)
- The story of “Jane”
- I think, collectively, all my posts in that tag reflect an experience of self-discovery in regard to DID over the years. 🤷♀️
I’m tired because I worked today. I hope this helps you somewhat & gives you things to think about 😊
I’d like to remain anonymous
So, as a Singlet as you call us (it’s kinda cute so I’m not mad lol) I really appreciate this post. I’m not planning on writing any main characters with DID anytime soon because I am /terrified/ of getting it wrong and accidentally spreading more stigma, but I’d like to give writing a side character with DID a try.
I have so many questions but my first is about how you said that if we’re here as a Singlet there’s no reason to try to convince us not to try—it sounded just condescending enough for me to wonder if you have something against that? I’m not mad or offended or ANYTHING if you do I’m just curious and would like to hear your take on it.
Second, do you know of any places I could go to find systems to talk to? I’d love to get into contact with some if I really start building a character with DID, but I don’t really know where to begin.
Third—this one is really important to me—on the topic of Singlets tending to always make people know when characters have DID, I can totally understand why that could be annoying. It can feel very weird like they just have to be aware that that person has a disorder. Though, aside from the main plot of course, one of the things I want to include in a story I’ve slowly been building over time is some awareness for lesser known disorders, mental illnesses (such as anxiety disorders, depression especially clinical, etc, I’ll take your advice to heart and not refer to DID as a mental illness) and disabilities—along with neurodivergent representation.
And for all of these, the goal is to DEstigmatize them because as someone with a diagnosed anxiety disorder and diagnosed ADHD, I know how annoying it can be for people to make assumptions that feel so blatantly… I don’t think ableist would be the right word in this context but something along those vague lines. Ignorant may be the right word.
Okay, back on topic. Seeing as one of the reasons I’d like to add a character with DID into my story is destigmatization and some exposure for the insanely complicated, overstigmatized, underrepresented, and misunderstood disorder (if that’s something it can be accurately classified as), would it be better if the readers were not directly told that the character had DID? Or would it be better if they did and the main team did and I just handled it very very delicately?
I’m sure I could think of a hundred thousand more questions but these are the big ones. I’ve been trying to get a clear answer on how the DID community as a whole feels about Singlets writing characters with DID, but I’m not sure if there is a clear answer and even if there is I have been failing miserably to find it. I really appreciate this post regardless of your answers to these questions though—it’s given me some insight on what to do, what not to do, and especially what I need to research to get a better grasp on the disorder (I REALLY appreciate that, actually, because just searching up “Dissociative Identity Disorder” only seems to be able to get me so far).
I’ll say that it’s tricky, especially because this post alone has changed my perspective on DID a lot more than I was ready for, and I’ve been going through spurts of deep-dive research missions into it for a couple years now. Since I’m planning on being a psychologist and my brain has latched onto this disorder in particular (I am a storyteller so it probably started with the story potential of multiple characters in one body and ended in a deep curiosity about it), and ever since I started to realize just how INSANELY under-researched it was I started thinking that maybe I’ll try specializing in it if that’s even a possibility. Though, since I’m still pushing through Senior year, I thought I’d go ahead and at least try to understand it in the way I communicate and understand things best—creative writing practices.
I don’t know how to end this tactfully so bye.
Jane Lively
I have so many questions but my first is about how you said that if we’re here as a Singlet there’s no reason to try to convince us not to try—it sounded just condescending enough for me to wonder if you have something against that? I’m not mad or offended or ANYTHING if you do I’m just curious and would like to hear your take on it.
Singlets often have one of two reasons for having a DID character:
- To give a reason/”depth” for a villain/antagonist
- Because they want to destigmatize the disorder, raise awareness, etc. things the DID community is already working towards — thereby further speaking over people with DID/getting people to listen to yet another singlet talk about the disorder.
Both things inevitably add to the stigma.
However, singlets wanting to include DID in their stories have already set their minds to it. The “why” doesn’t matter anymore, because it’s all about what they want, rather than what anyone else wants. It’s akin to a white author wanting to include a Black character or two in their story for “diversity”, when diversity and inclusion is so much more than the color of one’s skin.
Second, do you know of any places I could go to find systems to talk to? I’d love to get into contact with some if I really start building a character with DID, but I don’t really know where to begin.
There are some people with DID on Threads. So many authors want to write DID characters; few manage to do so and even fewer manage to write something people with DID find believable.
Third—this one is really important to me—on the topic of Singlets tending to always make people know when characters have DID, I can totally understand why that could be annoying. It can feel very weird like they just have to be aware that that person has a disorder.
It’s less annoying, more extremely inaccurate re: realistic representation. Most people with DID live covertly, i.e. hidden/secretly, not actively/openly sharing that they have did (overt systems). There are also some overt systems who create content that feels more like vertical entertainment than realistic reputation.
would it be better if the readers were not directly told that the character had DID? Or would it be better if they did and the main team did and I just handled it very very delicately?
I think it would be better if you simply wrote them as they are and left whether the character has DID up to your readers’ interpretation. This comment from a Reddit post is pretty close to how people with DID feel about singlets writing DID characters.
I don’t understand why singlets are so quick to believe they understand the complexities and nuances of one of the most complicated disorders when they haven’t lived it.
That said, some singlets do manage to write characters with DID in a way that feels okay/doesn’t feel “off”. DID is one of the most complicated disorders — thus the most misunderstood. It’s not misunderstood or stigmatized like ADHD is at all. ADHD is at least understood to some level. DID research is severely lacking, next to impossible when every single person presents DID differently. It’s not the same at all, and singlets struggle to grasp that usually.
The only people in the general population who could specialize in DID are people with DID…except, of course, for this unicorn: Kathy Broody. Not everything hits the mark (e.g. DID is NOT splitting/split personalities specifically; that’s not how it starts — it starts by the identities simply not merging into one. 💁♀️
The fallacy of specializing in something so complex and dynamic is thinking you can specialize in it at all. Even though people with DID are the only ones who could truly be experts with DID, they are only experts with their own DID — maybe.
I’d like to remain anonymous
I really, really appreciate your response. I hope nothing came off rude – and if you felt like I was trying to compare ADHD to DID as if they are even remotely similar, I apologize. I don’t think I intended to. I was just trying to put myself at least partially in your shoes in some way, shape or form, which may have also been a weird thing for me to do. I don’t know. I’m ignorant in a lot of things, especially in a disorder like this.
I especially apologize if I in any way downplayed the utter lack of research in DID. Because you’re right. We understand ADHD pretty well these days in comparison to other, less studied disorders/disabilities – we know that it has to do in some part with chemical imbalances, among other things, for example. That’s what got me into the idea of researching it. Of course, if it’s generally thought that Singlets are pretty useless in that field of research, I won’t try. I don’t ever expect to truly have a grasp on such a complex disorder, but I’ll sure try, if not just to be less ignorant myself.
Again, this entire post flipped everything I thought I had a relative almost-grasp on up on its head, and I was flabbergasted and… it was good for me. I genuinely hope more people write things like this. This article was written with a level of blunt honesty that jarred me and kept me on my toes and soaking in everything at every corner. It kind of stings to see the less positive opinions that systems have on what I tried to do, but it’s refreshing. It was jarring. It was /enlightening./ It was like your friend slapping you in the face when you try to go back to your toxic ex.
.
Okay that was a really weird way to put that. I can’t think of another metaphor right now though.
I will absolutely hold off even attempting writing a character with DID until I feel I have a somewhat firmer grasp on the very basis of the disorder and a way to be fact checked. I might also be a weird case though, since this seems to be a very strange returning hyperfixation for me (if your disorder being someone’s involuntary hyperfixation is offensive to you, I sincerely apologize on behalf of my chemical imbalances; I genuinely have absolutely zero clue in the universe why Dissociative Identity Disorder is something I continuously fixate on and I feel like a problem every time it hits me again) so I’ll utilize my random research sprees well with the suggestions from this post. Thank you again for taking time out of your day to respond to my questions. 🙂
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