7 tips to step outside your comfort zone

Living life inside a bubble is a boring life.

I used to live my life in a comfortable bubble, so I can say that. Now, I can’t imagine a life lived only in one’s comfort zone is a life worth living at all.

There is so much more to life than what we’re comfortable with. Exposure to diversity — things and people different from ourselves and what we’re used to — builds empathy and fuels creativity.

Is venturing outside your comfort zone scary? Yes — at first.

It gets wayyy easier, though — and so, so worth it. ✨

Last updated Sept. 15, 2024: I made this post easier to read + changed the format overall.

1. Identify your comfort zone

In order to go outside of your bubble, you first need to figure out where the boundaries of yours is.

Your biases, for example, may prevent you from mingling with people from certain cultures or those who don’t share your beliefs.

Christians may refrain from spending time with atheists because they have a bias against nonbelievers. Or they may avoid people from the LGBTQ+ community because they have a bias against anyone who doesn’t conform to heteronormativity and gender norms.

This keeps your bubble small and prevents you from getting to know cool people or different ideas. It’s also a question of your faith’s strength: If it’s as strong as you claim, why can’t you spend time with someone different from you?

(True faith isn’t that fragile. It endures despite attempts at breaking it down.)

2. Start small

Don’t go bungee jumping if you’re terrified of heights.

Instead of ordering takeout, go into the restaurant to eat. Or pick up food at the restaurant instead of ordering delivery.

Or shop for your own groceries instead of hiring someone else.

Or try a new ice cream flavor or switch buttercream icing for chocolate on your cake.

Small steps to switching up your “regular” routine builds up into bigger changes down the line.

This is how you find new favorites.

3. Try new things with a buddy

Find a friend, relative or stranger to try something new with.

Buddy up with someone if you’re taking a skills class. You two have something in common: the skills class! What more do you need?

This is probably the most accessible way to make new in-person friends, because you’re both clearly interested in trying the new thing so much. 💁‍♀️

4. Read fiction

Reading fiction boosts empathy. I didn’t make that up — it’s science.

When you read nonfiction, your brain stays “on” and aware of differences in perceived life experience so it can dismiss it as possible. This is the double empathy problem at work.

Your brain stops being hypervigilant about these things when you read fiction. It’s like, “Fiction? Psh. It’s fiction.” You enjoy the story more because your brain isn’t constantly challenging it.

People who read fiction are more empathetic than people who read nonfiction.

While you may be limited to real-life experiences due to your own obstacles, there is a fiction book for literally almost anything. 👀

And if you ask me? TV works, too!

5. Be curious

Ask more questions!

Wonder “why?” and “why not?”

Take small risks to build confidence.

6. Say “yes” more

Saying “no” is important, because it gives you more opportunities to say “yes”.

Saying “yes” to the right opportunities to say yes to gives you more life experience and opportunities to say yes.

The more things you try, the more you’ll know what to say yes or no to. It’s a feeling you develop in your heart, rather than something you can be taught.

Growing in self-awareness will help you think more intuitively about your life overall.

7. Be kind to yourself

It’s okay if you don’t like the experience once you go through it.

I went to a Joyous Living Retreat with Kathy, my third cousin, twice removed. It was mostly about meditation and finding inner peace.

It was a new kind of church than I was used to — Science of Mind®. They believed that God was within you, rather than existing as a higher power.

The only mention of God was when someone said, “Oh, my God!”

I wasn’t used to this experience and didn’t like it…but it has also stuck with me. I learned a bit about how other people lived their life. I learned things about myself.

I think someone thought my “secret” that I wrote on paper to burn was going to be that I was a lesbian, so they were shocked when it wasn’t. I hadn’t accepted myself yet and wanted to keep hiding it.

The retreat left me feeling as though my struggle to heal from my trauma and feeling depressed about it was something inherently wrong within myself. I found no comfort in the labyrinth where you couldn’t talk.

The only joy I felt from the Joyous Living Retreat was when I was leaving it.

Afterward, Kathy and I went to a synagogue because her friend invited her. The Josh Nelson Project, a Jewish rock band, was performing.

Her friend bought me a graphic tee shirt and a CD — band merch — and then we all went Potbelly, a sandwich shop much tastier than Subway.

The concert experience in that church far outweighed the concerts I’d gone to at Fellowship Grapevine. The music? I felt it in my soul.

Kids from all over Texas came — even some from Oklahoma. They were staying with families who attended the synagogue and had volunteered to “host” them. This would never happen in a Christian church.

I was raised or conditioned to have a negative bias against Jewish people. I also didn’t give it much thought or care, just knew they were different.

I was so shocked/surprised at the community aspect of the church and how lively the concert was.

If I had been invited again, I’d have wanted to go to that church again. And again. And again. That was my experience there. 😅

These were two extremely different experiences that left me feeling two different ways. I stopped identifying as a nondenominational Christian shortly after that day and started identifying as a follower of Jesus instead.

I even went as far as apologizing for the Church’s war against the LGBTQ+ community.

These two contrasting experiences forced me outside myself enough to look at the harm caused by my social associations and consider what I wanted to associate myself with.

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New experiences change you, even it’s as “small” as bringing home a bouquet of carnations from the food pantry one day because you want to see if having them in your room will actually brighten up the space.

This is how we evolve into our favorite versions of ourselves. This is how we meet amazing people, develop a more positive outlook on life, and collect stories to tell volunteering high school students one day in the nursing home.

This is how we live life to the fullest.