How to identify performative activism

Performative activism isn’t always bad, because it can do a lot of good.

What makes performative activism so dangerous is how subtle it is.

An everyday person could position themselves in their local and surrounding communities as someone who really cares about certain issues, like a public figure, and seem like they truly care about those issues to everyone around them while also doing harm.

Ways to recognize performative activism

I notice it when they say, “Well my [marginalized demographic] friend says…”

I notice it when I explain something about my own marginalized affiliations and they dismiss it as “laziness”, “cultural appropriation” or “avoiding”.

I notice it when someone accuses me of gaslighting them while gaslighting me because they have never been in my shoes and don’t care to be.

I notice it when someone says, “But you’re not…” because I don’t fit their checkboxes.

I notice it when I say, “I need space to deal with things in my life right now,” and they infantilize me.

I notice it when someone who dismissed my sensory needs openly and immediately accommodates someone else from a shared marginalized community.

I notice it when, with the aforementioned situation, my sensory needs are dismissed and invalidated because I “managed to deal with them all this time”.

I notice it when someone finds out about something I struggle with and seeks to fix me under the guise of “helping” me because they have a savior complex.

I notice it when I try to educate them about their ableism and they say, “Oh, don’t give me that right now. Every time I call you out on things, you say I’m being ableist. I think you just don’t want to hear the truth.”

I notice it when I establish a boundary to not tokenize me and they say, “I thought you’d appreciate my efforts to include you in things that matter to me, but I guess not. I’ll find someone else.”

I notice it when a whole community of people don’t see it because they don’t know what goes on behind the closed doors of a “momfluencer” and willingly buy her things because she has positioned herself an “important” enough person who needs things to be bought for her when she does have enough to buy it herself.

I notice it when people want to wear bracelets to be “safe people” when even I wouldn’t consider them safe even if they are truly safe because of the virtue signaling.

I notice it when a self-proclaimed LGBTQ+ ally questions me about how I identify and asks why I haven’t dated anyone, as if who I’m dating affects how I’m allowed to identify.

Challenge performative activists

Question the behaviors of people who are the loudest about issues — and wonder why they’re so loud about things — that do not personally affect them. While some people are truly allies, performative activism is super easy for someone who craves attention, chaos, drama and publicity to take advantage of things.

Because they do a really good job of convincing everyone they do not discard you when you can no longer serve them/are no longer willing to be controlled by them.

They do a great job of portraying themselves as victims in their distorted narratives when they don’t get the reaction they want out of you.

Away from public eye

Behind closed doors, they react explosively when you confront their abusive, controlling nature to deflate your self-esteem while inflating the issue at hand.

And if you make a mistake because you were struggling with something they are so performative about publicly, you’re dead to them even if you do admit your wrong and apologize.

The goalposts shift constantly, with no reprieve. You are expected to keep proving yourself to them.

They feel entitled to act within their so-called “boundaries” to harass, demean, dehumanize and abuse you.

Performative activism isn’t all bad. It’s harmful when it’s more subtle, when people struggle to determine whether it is or isn’t performative.

Some people even end up getting “legacy programs” built in their honor because they positioned themselves as the public face of a cause — even if, behind closed doors, they treated the people they claim to advocate for like shit.

Communities don’t always know what goes on when the cameras are off. That’s how these people get away with it.

The biggest tell

The biggest tell is how someone who has positioned themselves as a public figure reacts when they are treated like one beyond the ways they can control.

• Do they assault your behavior or your character?
• Do they seek ways to break down your self-esteem and position themselves as superior?
• Do they seem genuinely open to feedback? Do they dismiss all negativity as a result of bigotry and prejudice?
• Do they make a point to be known for being open to feedback or casual conversations?

Going off record

Another tactic is going off record, where they pressure you to leave the public space where there are witnesses. In private, they can twist the narrative, manipulate you emotionally, or apply pressure tactics without accountability.

A public figure may insist on “keeping things between us” or “handling this privately” — not to genuinely resolve things, but to control, gaslight or intimidate without witnesses.

When you don’t comply, they often frame it as them “genuinely trying to meet halfway” while portraying you as “unreasonable” for refusing.

Your boundary to not be isolated or alone with them is framed as a toxic trait. In other words, they wanted to isolate you to control the narrative and are exploiting your boundary to control the narrative anyways.

It feels like you can’t win by design.

Enmeshed with nonprofit

Finally, do beware the activist who has made themselves a public figure locally through a nonprofit where the line between themselves and the organization is blurred.

Nonprofit leaders who are too enmeshed with their organization do not see the bigger picture because they’re fueled by their ego and complexes.

And they definitely shouldn’t be heavily involved with local elections with fuzzy boundaries between their personal and nonprofit brands.

Not about perfectionism

Calling out performative activism is not about perfectionism. Rather, it’s about teaching people to identify performative activists who try to “do everything right”.

While they may do some good, it’s too easy to get caught up in that little bit of good — especially when you don’t have an alternative.

People who create platforms upon which they may stand and advocate for people in marginalized communities are subject to public commentary and scrutiny, and should be held accountable for how they advocate.

For instance, someone advocating for autistic people in public while calling autistics having violent meltdowns “psycho” in private are not good advocates.

A founding member of a local LGBTQ+ organization who primary advocates for trans rights and engages in performative allyship — while doxing local officials personally in retaliation — is not an ethical representative or leader of such an organization.

The behavior of activists and advocates matters, because they are representing communities.

Question them more instead of accepting their scraps.