iZombie: Yes, I’m ready for some zombies.

Four months after the season three finale comes New Seattle. The zombies are policing themselves, can we really trust such a thing? Liv steps into the lifestyle of a raging Seattle Seahawks fan, which is great for a while, but all it does for me is long even further for the day she eats a lesbian brain. I mean, it’s possible. Lowell Tracey, Liv’s first zombie beau from season one, ate the brain of a homosexual. Is it too much to ask for a brain that makes Liv hit all over Peyton—to play the role of a gay person for an episode?

But I’m falling off track.

New Seattle

Zombie Nation, complete with Trump’s wall, is meant to keep everyone — including the mortals—in. It stirs in me the question I dare ask — what happens if even a human wishes to leave? My mind’s taken back to The Crazies, which I saw twice despite developing an intense fear the first time around that the government could legit kill any of us and no one ever know—and that, even if we managed to escape, they’d follow us to the next town. Dear Conspiracy Theorists, I totally see where you’re coming from!

But seriously: zombies policing themselves and New Seattle residents not allowed to leave. There’s enough happening within iZombie right now, as always, to keep it going, but I felt like a fellow human citizen in Seattle. Especially since I watch Grey’s Anatomy! Now, I’m stuck there. Clive said something about the government nuking us. What is to stop them?

(I mean, aside from the show folding in on itself, because what would a show be in the event of a nuking, unless they pulled a pilot season finale on us and #PLOTTWIST THE IMPORTANT PEEPS SURVIVED!)

In iZombie, I am Ravi and Peyton and Liv and Major and Clive and Blaine and Justin and Major’s minors and Lowell and Chase.

Speaking of Ravi…

Remember when Major was provided with the first zombie cure, but it turned into a huge mess?[1. If not, the spoiler is in the sentence. Trust me that it happened. Why lie during a fake virus epidemic-induced zombie outbreak?] Well…in the third season finale, Ravi went out on a whim and injected himself with the zombie cure, and WTF was he thinking? Because now he’s not human, but he’s not zombie either. Or is he human and menstruating like a zombie? How is this even supposed to be worded right now?

Ravi standing in the Seattle PD ME's lab staring at the brain he just weighed.
Ravi and I react to Aunt Flo the same way.

I review reusable menstrual products in my free time, but trying to properly phrase that time of the month, as Liv put it, that is a zombie period during which Ravi outwardly looks like he’s converting to a zombie and internally thinks brains smell like lavender? I don’t know how to do that. However, I do fancy the idea of the anatomical male species getting periods that are more obvious on the outside than they are on the inside. I guess I just have to settle in real life, where guys just get uncontrollable boners, because I have no intention of moving to Santa Clarita.

Can Liv eat a lesbian brain now?

Of course I’m coming back to this. Do I look like a person who has a life beyond this concern?[2. The correct answer is No, Jane, iZombie is all that is important right now, even though you could use some shut eye, to which I will respond, yes, you get me. This is why I love you. and return to my one-sided discussion of last week’s episode of the show in question, until you, dear reader, sound off in comments so we can forever talk about how much we need a gay Rose McIver in our lives—ahem, I mean Liv Moore.]

Lowell Tracey ate the brain of a gay man and was so unbelievably turned off by his girlfriend, and I know Liv needing to eat a lesbian brain to solve a crime would thus mean the lesbian woman had been murdered, which would in turn piss off the LGBT+ community probably, but if it means we get a gay Rose McIver Olivia Moore for an hour, I declare the endeavor worth it.

New Seattle, Ravi, lesbian brains—what do you think?

P.S. I know this is late, and future thoughts posts on television shows will be more recent, but I felt weird starting my posts on the second episode instead of with the premiere episode, because I felt quite passionate about some things in the fourth season premiere. Also, I wish I’d talked about all the iZombie episodes before “Are You Ready for Some Zombies?” (this episode), but alas earwax, here we are. It’s either Janepedia or my Tumblr, and my blog tends to win.

P.S.S. I changed my mind. I’ll keep this post up (you can also read it on Medium), ’cause I don’t wanna mess with the hassle of creating a redirect, but future iZombie commentary by Yours Truly will be on my Medium profile, because I don’t want to clog my blog with it. In the future, I might also change my mind and import such posts into my blog (LOL), but until then, I feel like my blog doesn’t need my couch potato, commercial-loving commentaries containing no more than me being a complete fangirl and wishing everything (and everyone) had a little more gay. (Also, it’s a pain to optimize the screenshots.)

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