Autism myths and misconceptions

Myth: All autistic people have savant abilities.

The autistic people worth celebrating, in the eyes of society, are the ones who do or did extraordinary things with extraordinary talents.

Non-autistic society has long used autistic savants for inspiration porn, to shame and invalidate themselves into trying things despite their exhaustion or disinterest.

I used to be a genius at mathematics. I was going to major in maths alongside education. I dreamt of writing and publishing my own maths book.

My first bout of autistic burnout took all of that away. I can’t do more than elementary maths.

Along with the savant concept is giftedness. Most “gifted” children are autistic and/or have ADHD.

Assuming or wanting autistic people to have savant abilities romanticizes this ideal way autistic people should be. It’s dehumanizes us.

Myth: Any autism information is good to share.

I saw a mother of an autistic child post in response to an autistic self-advocate that “any autism information is good, even if it’s bad, because it brings awareness to autism”.

Not true.

There are also a lot of things people don’t know about autism because of these myths and misconceptions, which makes being autistic a little harder.

Myth: Autism can be cured.

There’s no cure for autism. There also doesn’t need to be.

Autistic people who want cures typically do because they hate their autism, whether as a result of self-hatred or societal encouragement.

While autism would still be disabling in a society that naturally accommodated autistic people, societal stigma would alleviate much of the burden that is being autistic.

ABA doesn’t help us; it hurts us. The sole goal of ABA is to turn autistic people into compliant puppies that are more palatable for our allistic counterparts — so they won’t shoot at us or be driven to murder us under the guise of saving us.

The cure for ignorance is education, awareness and acceptance — three things autistic people need more than a “cure”.

Myth: Autism doesn’t define autistic people.

Autism does define some autistic people. Not every autistic person feels this way, but many autistic people do feel their autism is a huge part of who they are.

My autism defines me in a lot of ways. This isn’t me “succumbing” to my diagnosis, but me embracing it.

Myth: Autism is a mental health disorder.

Autism isn’t a mental health disorder or mental illness; it’s a neurological and developmental disorder.

It’s not a disease, either.

More correct considering it a communication/social disorder.

Myth: Autism is black-and-white thinking.

Actually, autistic people tend to think of all possible outcomes.

The rigid thinking likely comes from how someone was raised and the struggle to deviate from those ideals they were raised on, or try new things — because autistic tend to despise change or struggle to adapt to change because we don’t habituate (get used to things easily).

I find non-autistic people more likely to adhere to black-and-white/rigid thinking.

I wonder if the rigid thinking trait of autistics is actually a projection from non-autistics because autistic people are more likely to stand firm in their values regardless of how it affects their social status or whether someone’s watching.

Myth: Autism is caused by poor parenting.

Sigh, no. This myth goes back to the refrigerator mother theory, posited by a dude who had only ever seen autistic patients who had abusive mothers.

It’s another way to shame tired mothers in desperate need of support, rather than prioritizing support and resources that would help tired mothers.

Although this theory was quickly dismissed way back when, society perpetuated it.

Back then, autism was referred to as “child schizophrenia”, so I’m unsure whether Leo Kanner truly worked with schizophrenic children or if they were all autistic. 💁‍♀️

Myth: Autism is the next stage of evolution.

This theory started out a decade ago, when research was seriously lacking, in an Asperger syndrome forum that no longer exists. It’s evolved to being an autistic theory, rather than Asperger syndrome, due to Hans Asperger’s ties to the Nazi regime and their eugenics program.

Looking at autism as if it’s an evolutionary event posits autistic people as “better” than non-autistic people. It also presumes autistic people are “new”, when that’s not the case at all.

Autistic people have always existed, but we used to be institutionalized or murdered, or hidden away from society in some other kind of way.

There is no such thing as a “next stage” or “next phase” of evolution. It’s all around us, everywhere, all the time.

Autistic people have always been around, but they and/or their autism have been hidden from society. Only recently have autistic people been noted as important members in society.

Similarly, people think life-threatening allergies are new. I’m no historian, but I’ve watched enough historical fiction to know that royals had food testers to check for poison. Sometimes, those testers died or a royal died instead, and I can’t help wondering how many people were wrongly executed for what was instead an allergic reaction, not poisoning.

Not hearing about something, or something not being recorded into history, doesn’t mean that that something is brand spankin’ new. Human history is left to the people who write it, often influenced by their own bias/prejudice.

Myth: Autism is the same as antisocial personality disorder.

Autism has zero to do with antisocial personality disorder.

Myth: Autistic people don’t experience love.

All autistic people experience love. This assumption is based on your interpretation of their behavior, which is your perception and not necessarily reality.

This one goes back to the double empathy problem, where allistic people are typically incapable of empathizing with autistic people because they don’t perceive life the same way.

Neurodivergent people often express love and admiration differently, adding at least five more love languages to the neurotypical existing five.

Myth: Autistic people use their diagnoses as excuses.

Autistic people use their diagnoses (plural intentional) as explanations to provide context for the reason they may behave the way they do.

This is also common in people who have experienced trauma; overexplaining is a trauma response.

As a lifestyle blogger, I’m accustomed to explaining autism to educate people about it; I forget how most people offline perceive this as odd.

Myth: Autistics can’t hold down a job.

Autistic people struggle to “hold down” jobs because employers romanticize autism and the workplace does not nurture or accommodate autistic people.

Autistics are more likely to speak up about things allistics don’t speak up about, and allistic supervisors perceive autistic people as arguing or trying to one-up them instead of seeking context or understanding.

This disconnect leads to autistic employees being punished for how their brain works — or fired, if they don’t quit first themselves.

Autistic people’s ability to hold down a job has less to do with their autism and more to do with a lack of understanding and acceptance.

Myth: If we have jobs or degrees, we must be “high-functioning”.

Functioning labels oversimplify and ignore how hard maintaining jobs or higher education can be.

Someone might thrive at work but melt down the second they get home.

I turn into a fire-breathing dragon once home, then pass out from overstimulation and exhaustion.

I don’t think people at work would believe who I am outside of it…but I have realized how little workplaces search for people’s names before hiring them.

People at work only ever see a sliver of me.

They’d never guess what I’ve survived, or how my brain’s wiring can put me in serious danger. They see a calm surface; they don’t see the storms I’ve already weathered.

Myth: People with autism lack empathy.

Autistic people don’t lack empathy or “Theory of Mind”.

Actually, the double empathy problem explains this better:

Non-autistic people struggle to empathize with autistic people due to different perceived life experiences, and vice versa.

If an autistic person experiences something that a non-autistic person has not and would not because they’re not autistic, the non-autistic person perceives the autistic person is lying.

Likewise, autistic people can’t imagine going through life not affected by the sensory aspect of their collective surroundings.

Autistic and allistic people experience life extremely differently from each other. While autistic people may be more open to accepting different perceived life experiences, allistic people are typically not.

Myth: There is an autism epidemic.

There is NOT an autism “epidemic”. More people are being diagnosed as autistic in recent years due to the surplus of information available on the web about autism.

Autism was never the problem; a lack of proper information about autism was the problem. Today, stigma surrounding autism diagnosis and autistic people is a problem that affects autistic people around the globe.

Some autistic adults choose not to seek or complete the diagnostic process for fear of being persecuted simply because of their autism.

The Autism and Developmental Disabilities Monitoring (ADDM) Network, for example, is a program by the CDC to track autism data. At least eight US states require doctors to report to this registry, putting autistic people at risk for prejudice.

Being autistic is risky all over the globe. An autism diagnosis can

• result in your kids being taken away or not being permitted to adopt
• prevent you from moving to another country
• lead to your rights being taken away/ignored

We don’t have an “autism epidemic”; we have an ableism epidemic.

Myth: We’re all diagnosed as kids.

Many adults were misdiagnosed or missed completely due to outdated stereotypes — especially women, trans and nonbinary people.

Some autistics weren’t diagnosed simply because they loved spicy food and people thought autistic people couldn’t tolerate spicy food.

Adult diagnosis stories are increasingly common because the system failed us early on.

Myth: We all want to “get better” or be cured.

Many autistic adults don’t want a cure.

We want — and need — understanding, accessibility, and respect for how our brains work.

Myth: We can’t live independently or manage adult responsibilities.

As autism is a spectrum and even non-autistic people struggle to “adult” due to systemic challenges, this is an unfair misconception.

Autistic adults who do manage to live independently or manage adult responsibilities often experience burnout cycles or hidden struggles outsiders never see.

You also can’t know how an autistic person lives their life unless they share it.

Even as a blogger with a history of being vulnerable on the internet, autistic content creators have accused me of not struggling with things and therefore having no place to speak about them.

I’m not obligated to prove to anyone my experience or how I have a “right” to write about what I write about.

Despite this huge misconception, I meet far more autistic adults my age who live with spouses or supportive family.

While I have lived alone, I don’t currently. I rent a room in someone else’s house and often wonder if I ever will live on my own and what that might look like.

I know I’m capable of it, but the idea of being alone sucks.

Myth: We don’t have relationships, sex or families.

There is a stereotype that autistic adults are asexual, uninterested or incapable of intimacy.

Plenty of autistic people date, marry, have kids, have nuanced sex lives — we may approach relationships outside of neurotypical relationship norms.

Sensory-seeking autistics may engage in sexual activities more than sensory-avoiding autistics.

Autistic people may also identify as belonging to sexual orientations beyond the basic heterosexual.

I love myself more when I’m single because I feel too much pressure to conform to society’s expectations of how I “should” be when I’m romantically involved. I’ve got really high relationship standards.

Plus…being single is much better for my monotropic mind.

Myth: We’re all tech geniuses or savants.

Some autistic adults are analytical or detail-oriented, but autism doesn’t automatically equal Rain Man or a hacker stereotype.

Temple Grandin, once a pioneer in autistic self-advocacy during a time it was needed, is no longer what autistic people need today. She supports eugenics, not acceptance of the autism spectrum.

Working in retail has taught me I’m not the savant authority figures growing up claimed me to be.

Rather, the problem is that standards are so low for those who seamlessly conform that outliers like me stick out for going “above and beyond”.

For actually working…

Why not instead raise the standard, seek out this level of talent and develop retention systems that help maintain this level of talent?

I’ve been listing what accommodations I need to withstand my full-time job long-term.

Every single item has me like, “Why is this not the norm? It could benefit everyone!”

Myth: We’re emotionless or lack empathy.

Autistic adults often feel too much, not too little.

Empathy might look different — expressed through problem-solving, mirror empathy or quiet presence rather than conventional gestures.

Myth: We “grow out of” autism.

Many people assume that if we’re employed, mask well or live alone, we’re “not really autistic anymore”.

In reality, we have adapted or are hiding exhaustion and intolerance behind coping strategies at the expense of our physical and mental health.

Autism is not a childhood condition or diagnosis; it is lifelong. This is how our brain develops, functions, works.

There is no way out of autism — only through.

Myth: We’re socially clueless or childlike forever.

Being autistic means we process and express social dynamics differently.

Childishness is a social construct I find ironic. Experiencing childlike behavior is Biblical, yet the people who most often pathologized my innate autistic behavior were Christians.

The way I experience joy and the interests I have are often called “childish”.

The way I grieve is considered “inappropriate”.

I’m mistaken for Gen Z as a young Millennial because I look and “act” young. No — I look and act like an autistic adult. This is autism in adulthood.

Myth: We’re “rude” or “cold” if we’re direct.

Our communication style tends to value clarity over social fluff.

Directness is neither “aggression” nor “hostility”. Directness is honesty.

Myth: You have to put the person before their autism.

The idea of putting the person before their autism sounds great for neurotypical people, but it isn’t the same context as identity-first language.

Person-first language (PFL) is

• “person with autism”
• “person with disabilities”
• “person with brown hair”
• “person with lesbianism”

Identity-first language (IFL) is

• “autistic”
• “disabled”
• “brunette”
• “lesbian”

There is no need to be verbose in order to “put the person first”. The concept of putting someone before their diagnosis is what you do with illnesses; autism isn’t an illness.

It’s also what you do when you need to remind yourself that the person is, in fact, a person, instead of an object.

Ironically, autistic children and adults are often perceived as objects or property caregivers can “make” do things — this concept stems from Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA) origins, where people approached autistic children as if they weren’t even “real people yet”.

Research supports my claim that most autistic people do prefer identity-first language.

I theorize autistic people who prefer person-first language hate their autism.

Myth: Vaccines cause autism.

The myth that vaccines cause autism started from Andrew Wakefield’s falsified research, and that’s it.

From there, society attributed vaccines to autism because they noticed something “different” about their child after having a particular reaction to shots.

There are two things you need to know about autism if you’re not autistic:

1. Autistic people may experience the “fever effect” when sick, where they seem non-autistic instead.
2. Even if we can’t articulate something, we might be aware of something different happening within our bodies.

Non-autistic people often only consider external stimuli; however, autistic people are often aware of — and dealing with — both internal and external stimuli.

I know I behaved differently after getting the COVID shot and booster. With other shots, too. It’s like I’m more sensitive to all the sensory stimuli around and within me.

Rather than positing the vaccines being the problem, I wonder if perhaps the issue is instead with the parents — tired as they are — looking up side effects to vaccines their kids were given, finding out a lot about autism, and not realizing what they were like before.

Because they are actively looking for autistic traits, they see autistic traits.

And because so many sites make autism out to be something terrifying and horrible, vaccines are easier to blame than considering what autistic traits they themselves might have and learning how to embrace neurodiversity instead of fearing it.

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Every autistic person experiences autism differently.

What is true for one autistic adult is not necessarily the same experience of another autistic person.

Like when you and your friend both have orange cats, but yours doesn’t meet any of the stereotypes:

• You have a calm, orange cat who loves cuddles and playtime with none of the shenanigans.
• Your friend has an active, orange cat who gives her loads of meme and video opportunities.

Both orange cats are still orange cats!