My biggest struggles as a blogger

Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one in this vast sea of bloggers who wants to go back in time and remove her blog from its existence, because blogging is really nerve-wracking. 😣 Like, well…I’ll just list what I struggle with as a blogger.

Blog fright 😱

The number increased, higher and higher, each time my fingers navigated Chrome to Google Analytics. Three thousand page views across about 1500 unique visitors—vomit rose in my throat. I lunged for the toilet. ‘Twas my first viral post. “Viral”? Yeah, sounds about right. 🤢

I used to write numerous controversial posts. Growing up on Degrassi did that to me. As a latchkey kid, I let the show raise me up, up, up to believe my story mattered. Many characters on Degrassi pursued the “basic” careers, but there was high emphasis on STEAM careers—the arts and the sciences were most frequent fields featured. The show pulled me, tugging at my heartstrings. From it, I learned the importance of standing up for what I believe in and sticking to it. I didn’t always succeed when confronting my guardians, but I learned my innate constant—the written word—to be my most powerful, influential tool, and so I honed in on using it.

So I discussed politics and religion and my shitty upbringing and entrance to adulthood as a new adult.

And my blog skyrocketed.

Because freedom of speech for me meant the same for others—the right for them to tell me what they think. It doesn’t mean “Okay, time for me to give people death threats”, but that doesn’t stop anyone online. I’d also pissed off a blogger for shit I don’t personally remember—that I imagine is trivial as fuck, anyway, and believe to be at least borderline bullying—a year or two prior, and…some people who had commented on her post about me had found my new blog and, well, hate-followed me (and sometimes hate-commented me). 🙄

Beyond that, though, when I performed on stage because dance, I specifically requested the middle or the back. No one pays much attention to the people in the middle or the back! BUT OF COURSE ROUTINES MOVE DANCERS TO THE FRONT, SO obviously my plan to be invisible backfired. 🤦‍♀️ And teachers liked torturing students by making us give presentations at the front of the class, so I never got to be a Mia Thermopolis. 😞

Talking about products I love and use 😍

I love-hate my Android phone, by which I mean I only love it because it’s the only phone I can afford and fear that hating it will make it break like the last one did. 😬

I’m really cheap, so I buy from Taco Bueno’s value menu (tastes better, anyway) and get a lot of stuff from the Dollar Tree. 😅

Receipt Hog is an app that pays me coins (re: halfpennies) for snapping receipts as part of its consumer research program. I’ve used money made from it to pay my hosting bill, so I consider it a life-saving app. 🙄

As far as brand loyalty goes, it varies: I rotate products/brands for some things, while I do whatever is cheaper for others.

I drink mostly water, ginger ale (re: Canada Dry), and Pepsi. I am one of those people who actually likes cranberry juice sometimes. Beyond that, I don’t know. I’ve been thinking lately I might get into herbal tea, but…not, like, the packaged instant tea. It kind of grosses me out.

Ricola is the only throat drop I use. Other throat drops have soy. Also, these just taste better. 😋

Beyond this are a few things I’ve yet to mention (e.g. some supplements and reusable menstrual products) that I use, but mostly…I feel awkward talking about things I love and use. Mentally, I battle between “HAVE YOU EVER TRIED ____?! BECAUSE IT’S MY NEW FAVORITE THING AND AND AND I WANT TO TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT IT” and “Ah, I use this product now, and-but even though it’s not well-known, I’m sure people already know about it, and if not, well…this is probably just stupid anyway”. 😳

I don’t know how to not seem salesy. I’m a spazz. There’s not really a boundary for me. 😐

But then I start to feel like I have nothing to blog about, because I feel like I’m hiding myself, because some of these things are a bit part of who I am! 🤔 Reusable menstrual products (RUMPs for short), for example, are probably still a taboo topic among much of the world, but I have converted multiple people to them already, had a review go viral on Facebook (🤢), and inspired the massacre of a beloved bamboo velour pad (may it RIP). 😭

#TheStruggleIsReal, Houston, and it’s a problem.

Pressure to have high stats 📈 

When I post something to Instagram, I don’t do it for the engagement. I do it because I’ve captured a moment and want to share with someone who wants to step into my life for awhile.

Letter board: Collect moments, not likes.

So I often feel like I’m missing out because I don’t have 53478 likes or followers, but I like the smaller numbers because I enjoy slow growth and getting to form relationships with the people who read my blog. I like cultivating that camaraderie. It’s got a homey feel to it.

So that’s me! I also feel apprehensive about sharing photos about myself, ’cause I’ve got insecurities. And also because I struggle with identity (#DID), so who I look like in photos does not always match the personas on the inside, and that alone is a struggle (not to mention how photos make me look different anyway).

I almost have stopped blogging, repeatedly, but you guys stay in my head and keep me coming back during those moments.

Do you struggle with anything in regards to blogging?

Love this post?

Support me by subscribing to my blog and/or buying me a cuppa:

Leave a comment

Comments on this post

Posting something raw and real on your blog can be a real leap of faith. It’s hard to put yourself out there sometimes and trust that there won’t be backlash (because it does happen from time to time). But I’m glad you’ve stuck with it!

Reply to this »

I feel the same and opposite at the same time and I am not sure if that makes any sense. I don’t think I have ever wanted to delete my site, but the idea of one of my post or even my site going viral is very frighting to me as well. I know I talk so much shit about my small town, my family, people I know, and things (politics and etc) that wouldn’t fly in this small town red state that I know for a fact that I get a lot of hate for it if they found out so only a few in my personal life know about my site. At the same time I love my blog and because I can be my uncensored self and talk about things that I don’t feel like I can talk about with most people or even on social media.

I remember watching Degrassi with my twin in middle/high school (I’m not sure if was both or one of the other, I can’t remember) and it was one of the things that really helped shape me even if I didn’t know it at the time. Like I grew up in a really religious town and small-minded and one of the episodes that really stick with me is the one where Manny got the abortion and knowing I was supposed to hate her for that but all I did was feel bad that she had to make that choice and that Craig treated her bad for it.

The whole freedom of speech thing is why I keep my site’s comments moderated, so they don’t get to infringe on my own safe space, and my space stays my own. People are so hateful and I hate that someone had to do something like that to you, I don’t get why people like that want to do negative things with their time when they can be doing something that they like.

The Dollar Tree has some amazing things though, I get my soy milk there because they are the only ones in town that carries the soy milk I like, so it’s a win, and they sell cheap vegan soap, and so much amazing things. I actually use and love Receipt Hog too!

I never liked ginger ale until like a year ago and now I love it, idk what was up with that. haha. I can’t say much about IG because I mostly follow bunny blogs on there and others I rarely post maybe like once a month, but I was posting the food I made but then I stopped doing that because all I do is make the same thing over and over.

I think my biggest struggle with blogging is either I know what I want to say but I don’t know how to say it, or I feel bad so I just am unmotivated to figure out what I want to say, which is why I like to keep a few blogs on draft so I can just click publish and not worry and stress about it too much.

Reply to this »

Luckily I don’t have the issue of seeming like I am selling stuff. There is no harm in sharing what products you use though because it might just be the product someone needs, think of it more as helping a reader out.

Reply to this »

Blogging is intimidating! I love it, but it can be hard not to compare myself with what others are doing. I’ll wish I was as creative or thought to do that, or sometimes I wonder if anyone cares about what I have to say outside of books. Something I’ve noticed though is that people love authenticity, and they want to get to know the person behind the posts. The community reminds me to continue loving what I do and to be myself.

Reply to this »